| Subject: Help, I don't love my drug addict husband anymore |
Author:
Mary
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Date Posted: 11:58:54 12/22/03 Mon
I have been married to a man for 14 years, the whole time he has been on heroin, methadone, pills, coke, etc.. I have 2 children, 11 and 6. He started on methadone 2 years ago and said he will never be able to get off it, he will be on it for the rest of his life, I accepted that as long as he didn't do other drugs with it. In March 2003 I caught him getting ready to stick a needle in his arm. I was disgusted, I told him to leave, he wouldn't. At that point he was using cocaine and pills the whole time he was on the methadone and I didn't know. He told me in March that me catching him was his bottom and he wouldn't do anything else because he loved me and the family and didn't want to lose us. Once again, I believed him, a few months later, there he was talking jiberish to my son with his eye's closed, he was still using. Now I kept my mouth shut and started planning to leave. Not only was he using, I found out that he was going to 2 different meth clinics, selling some to support his drug habit. In August 2003 I told him I was not happy and I wanted a divorce. Once again he said that was his bottom, he will stop now, again like a fool I believed him. In September 2003, my 11 year old son told me that my husband made him pee in a bottle so that he would have a clean drug test at his clinic. There were more lies in October. This is only a very small part of what has happened in our lives because of his problem. I feel like I'm done, I left in Novemeber but I went back because I did not want to abandon my children. My Husband says that now, because I left he knows I am serious, and that now he has really hit his bottom. At this point there is no love left in me for him. I want to live my life to the fullest, I love life and he just brings me down. Some people are telling me to stay with him because if I leave he will only start using drugs again. He is still on the meth and always will be but I truely believe he has not had drugs in about 2 months. I have tested him, but at this point there is no love or caring left in me for him. I want to concentrate on the life of myself and my kids. Is this the wrong way to feel? I am beside my self, I want my freedom so bad I can taste it and at this point it doesn't even matter to me if he uses or not. Someone please help me.
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