| Subject: Re: Help, I don't love my drug addict husband anymore |
Author:
Bob
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Date Posted: 01:25:59 09/03/04 Fri
In reply to:
Mary
's message, "Help, I don't love my drug addict husband anymore" on 11:58:54 12/22/03 Mon
>I have been married to a man for 14 years, the whole
>time he has been on heroin, methadone, pills, coke,
>etc.. I have 2 children, 11 and 6. He started on
>methadone 2 years ago and said he will never be able
>to get off it, he will be on it for the rest of his
>life, I accepted that as long as he didn't do other
>drugs with it. In March 2003 I caught him getting
>ready to stick a needle in his arm. I was disgusted,
>I told him to leave, he wouldn't. At that point he
>was using cocaine and pills the whole time he was on
>the methadone and I didn't know. He told me in March
>that me catching him was his bottom and he wouldn't do
>anything else because he loved me and the family and
>didn't want to lose us. Once again, I believed him, a
>few months later, there he was talking jiberish to my
>son with his eye's closed, he was still using. Now I
>kept my mouth shut and started planning to leave. Not
>only was he using, I found out that he was going to 2
>different meth clinics, selling some to support his
>drug habit. In August 2003 I told him I was not happy
>and I wanted a divorce. Once again he said that was
>his bottom, he will stop now, again like a fool I
>believed him. In September 2003, my 11 year old son
>told me that my husband made him pee in a bottle so
>that he would have a clean drug test at his clinic.
>There were more lies in October. This is only a very
>small part of what has happened in our lives because
>of his problem. I feel like I'm done, I left in
>Novemeber but I went back because I did not want to
>abandon my children. My Husband says that now,
>because I left he knows I am serious, and that now he
>has really hit his bottom. At this point there is no
>love left in me for him. I want to live my life to
>the fullest, I love life and he just brings me down.
>Some people are telling me to stay with him because if
>I leave he will only start using drugs again. He is
>still on the meth and always will be but I truely
>believe he has not had drugs in about 2 months. I have
>tested him, but at this point there is no love or
>caring left in me for him. I want to concentrate on
>the life of myself and my kids. Is this the wrong way
>to feel? I am beside my self, I want my freedom so
>bad I can taste it and at this point it doesn't even
>matter to me if he uses or not. Someone please help
>me.
If there is no love and he's not a positive influence on your children, I think you know what the solution is. Maybe you just need someone to confirm that your decision to leave is the right decision. My wife was going thru the same thing. She was reluctant to leave him too. She has 2 kids with 2 fathers. She was lost for a while she says. But as nature has it, there's always a bachelor (like me) out there looking for an unfortunate family that needs a father figure. She was working 2 jobs, never home to take care of things. The younger (Shelby- age 11) is so much happier now. She has mentioned to me more than once how much better the home-life is now that mom's home every night. Heather (age 15) on the other hand, has issues (see my post "biological father condones sex, drugs, and cigarettes") with mom being home every night. At 14, she was able to do anything she wanted to do as long as mom was at work. I only wish I would've been around when she was Shelby's age and maybe she wouldn't have ended up the way she is. My step-father opinion is that you should get your life on track before your 11 year old is old enough to head down the wrong path. I sincerely hope this helps.
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