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Date Posted: 09:43:33 10/25/07 Thu
Author: Mark(sconey74-80)Watson
Subject: Re: thank for all the e-mails
In reply to: ken smyth 's message, "thank for all the e-mails" on 04:01:32 10/25/07 Thu

Julie and Myself are still laughing.nice to see some one else get these e mails aswell.

>Dear All
>
>My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this
>past year........
>
>I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about
>rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have
>to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs
>sealing.
>
>Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open
>for the same reason.
>
>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
>sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the
>hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
>
>I no longer have any money at all, but that will
>change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill
>Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
>participating in their special e-mail program .....
>
>Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me
>to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a
>long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
>
>I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
>angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena
>has granted my every wish.
>
>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
>I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
>
>Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get
>answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends
>and make a wish within five minutes.
>
>Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola
>because it can remove toilet stains.
>
>I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along
>to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my
>back seat when I'm filling up.
>
>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
>drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
>
>I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
>me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill
>with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and
>Uzbekistan .
>
>Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine
>because a big brown African spider is lurking under
>the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my
>bum.
>
>And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up
>the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it
>probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting
>underneath my car to grab my leg.
>
>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000
>people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with
>diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this
>afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest
>your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
>
>I know this will occur because it actually happened to
>a friend of my next door neighbour's
>ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
>beautician.
>
>By the way....a South American scientist after a
>lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ
>who have infrequent sexual activity always read their
>e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
>
>Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

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Replies:

  • Re: thank for all the e-mails -- Terry St Pierre, 03:04:42 10/26/07 Fri
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