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Date Posted: 23:45:46 03/07/06 Tue
Author: Patrice
Subject: 2 wks after surygery

I just had my surgery 2wks ago and it has been the hardest time of my life. I have never been so depressed and filled with dispair. Im not sure what to do about any of the feelings I am having. They said that I needed the surgery and I guess I did with how badly I was bleeding. I had been bleeding and going through a pad and a half for the last 3 months or so. It was extremely painful. The mental anguish has taken its toll on me and I think I need some help to deal with the pain that I am feeling inside and out. I cant help but think about all the kids I wont be having as a result of the surgery. I feel like everyone keeps telling me well at least you wont ever have a period again like thats fixing how I feel on the inside. It makes me angry that the people that said that they were my friends and that they would be here for me are no where to be found, and this has left me feeling so isolated and like I am the only one this has happened to. I am feeling really alone with no where to run and hide. I dont know what to do about the feelings Im having about not being able to have any more children. It has me so depressed and discouraged and I dont know what to do about those feelings. I feel empty and I dont even know my body anymore since the surgery, and that kinda worries me. I feel less than a woman now and I really dont know what to do about that either. I seem to have all these emotions and no one is there to talk to and help me figure this out. I feel almost desparate for attention and that has gotten me into trouble as well. I am here cause I have ran out of choices and hope that someone here can help me understand these feelings, and help me get through this and tell me if this is normal.

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