Date Posted:09:47:13 01/01/08 Tue Author:gaz Subject: HOPE
anno its new year an stuff so sorry to depress yous , well this will sound mad but drugs saved my life last nite i had been toying with the idea of topping myself for a long time this is my 4th day clean by the way, so to make the detox easier i got 80 valium an 30 jellies all of wich where done in 3 days im so glad i gt they jellies because last nite i was well up for just ending it all i had the belt round my kneck the bottle was there and i was gonnae do it and end this misery 1ce an fur fuckin all an it must have been the jellies because i was lying bk oan the bed with the belt round my kneck looking up at the celing looking for somewhere to hang the belt up on and crashed out an fell asleep im really glad because i honestly would not be typing this if i had not fell asleep maybe that was gods way an im no a believer in god ,but somebodys way of telling me that its no my time yet, im really sorry if im depressing yous but a need to get this out so today i have woke up an as every junkie knows the 3rd days the worst in terms of the rattle an a feel ok an am gonnae do everything in my power to make this 08 a year where 1st an foremost a make myself proud an then my family who ive done nothing but beg steal borrow lie to them, i hope everybody else out there can find the power to quit this evil addiction (illness)surely there must be something better than this in life ill be praying for yous all and a mean that were no bad people we have just choose the wrong road to go down, fuck sake a used to be a normal boy played fitba, had hundreds a m8's was the most out going boy in the world so the smack does not differntiate (if thats spelt rite prolly no) between classes it effects everybody across the board, well ive said what i wanted to say i hope ive not depressed anybody by this note a just had to get it out there an maybe it could give a bit of hope to others out there fighting the struggle lots a luv gary X
