It always seems so hard to imagine and far fetched when someone says they've been off it for years. .
I get off for a week sometimes and it feels like forever.
The matter of the fact is that I know it never goes away, even recovered addicts still think about it am i wrong?
I never stick to it, I would always quit for a few days experiencing no pain with methadone that I ironically score from my dealer, but the minute I feel better again I go back and use. I have been on and off for 4 years now and I don't remember anything that I have really done these past years. First it used to be recreational, I'm not sure when it switched into being the empty darkness that it is now. I am surrounded by people (family,friends& colleagues) who wouldn't even believe it if someone tells them I use heroin. I am a professional lier, I feel I am losing my soul, I feel like I have focused all of my strength into becoming a functional addict, stuck alone in a viscous cycle of leading a double life.
