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>The Susannah Wesley book was one I remember hearing >quoted alot - the general idea that you should break >your child's will. Horrible horrible. This probably >had some bizarre theological basis about original sin >and the devil etc. > >Did anyone read the Guardian on Saturday. There was an >article on the Jersey childrens homes and the abuse >that went on in them. It seemed that allowing corporal >punishment allowed other forms of abuse to go >unnoticed. > >Peter - "spare the rod and spoil the child" (you >mention it in another post). When I was at school we >had a teacher who told us to rephrase it and see what >it meant. i.e you SHOULD spare the rod and SPOIL the >child. Looking back I think he was being mischeivous >but good on him ! > > > > >>>It happened. >> >>We have to put into context it was legal at the time. >>It was also and still is promoted by a lot of US >>evangelicals. >> >>Whatever the rights or wrongs, you have to take into >>account that where a large group is advised on this >>sort of thing, whatever the group, there will be some >>in that group who are inherently abusive and they will >>take things to extremes and others may do so because >>they become over zealous. >> >>It did happen and was advocated at the time and I >>think maybe still, by writers like James Dobson. There >>was a clear idea of how it should be done proposed by >>such people. However, I was there, and saw many times, >>parents visibly carrying canes. One of my chief >>memories is of being in the manse and hearing a female >>child obviously being caned, and being told - or >>rather shouted at, 'GRATEFUL ACCEPTANCE!' Parents >>would regularly haul their offspring off for a sound >>beating. There was also a parenting book with some >>good mixed with some very dubious advice. One thing >>that I found concerning and upsetting was staying in a >>house with a fairly new mother and watching her spank >>her under one year old - albeit on the nappy. >> >>Some of this teaching had its roots in what is in >>Susanna Wesley's diaries. >> >>By the time I became a parent I was advised to replace >>this 'rod' with a wooden spoon. I did briefly, but it >>was not the best way for my children whatever the >>rights and wrongs. >> >>One of my children had real problems and even about >>eight or nine years ago there was advocacy of corporal >>punishment for a teenager when I sought advice on >>behaviour. It was totally and utterly innapropriate. >> >>The green parenting book was a strange document that >>wives of unsaved husbands were told to keep hidden. >>This always seemed absolutely wrong to me and I said >>so at the time. >> >>I have friends in the JA and this is why for this post >>I had better remain anonymous, but some have told me >>their children have been harmed by this period of time >>as will my own although they were not even ever in >>community. It is to the credit of those parents they >>recognise the mistakes of the time and take personal >>responsibility for them. >> >>To my concern, I recently witnessed a JA parent smack >>a child - I was more concerned, as in any but this >>day's context the action was reasonable, and this is a >>generally balanced and loving family, because of what >>such behaviour would lay the family open to. Social >>workers where we live are convinced and taught that >>any form of corporal punishment - even a light smack >>on the hand is abuse. I would guess it is still being >>taught but I have not asked and I would not call a >>parent who lightly smacks a child in reasonable >>circumstances abusive. >> >>I have met ex JA kids who remember being beaten and >>they are NOT positive about the experience usually.
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