Date Posted: 9/06/08 2:14:35pm Author: Peter Eveleigh Subject: we were not, in any true sense, individuals In reply to:
Barbara
's message, "Re: naming names" on 9/06/08 12:13:21am
>I think I am bound to be more sensitive to the
>feelings of other abuse survivors, because I've been
>there, haven't I? The shame you feel is indescribable,
>you feel dirty and want to take up less space than
>other people. So to make that person get on a chair
>and be the focus of attention is cruel in itself.
>
I am sure you are right. But, particularlty as members never go into any real detail when talking about sexual things and how they affect feelings etc, I do wonder whether members realised how cruel they were being? I suspect that they didn't.
I have never found that the dynamic of membership makes people sensitive to the long-term effects of people's pre-JA lives. We were all expected to be new-born....almost people whose lives started at the same point, at the point of entry through baptism.
We trotted out our testimonies as stories rather than as experiences, and nobody really wanted us to talk about our lives outside the fellowship - that was "soulish". The simple fact is that we were not, in any true sense, individuals.
