Date Posted:21/11/07 5:17:30pm Author: Peter Eveleigh Subject: the value of friendships in affecting our perceptions and criticisms In reply to:
Aardvark
's message, "Re: Christmas: where is Noah?" on 4/08/07 1:35:07pm
>Welcome Peapod, good to see new posters (at last - not
>seen any new posts on here for months!). Also good to
>know some are able to criticise the JF without, it
>seems, being alienated and embittered.
Don't know if you will ever see this, Aardvark (as I know this is an old thread) but what you say here struck a chord with me. It is far easier to be unembittered if you are allowed to criticise the fellowship from within, all the time being friends with brethren.
Having been friends with brethren in the last two years, I have found myself less inclined to criticise because of the friendships that I have valued. Friendship softens our perceptions.
That's part of why it is such a shame that the fellowship is so reluctant to put any effort into friendships that are just about people liking each other, rather than ones which will ever (or never) bear fruit for the JFC.
Being dumped, albeit graciously, by my elder-friend in the fellowship, apart from being hurtful, lifted the veil on things I had seen going on around me and made me less disinclined to comment on here. Now that I don't have a friendship to protect, I feel more free to comment. But I honestly don't think it is bitterness now. It is more a sense of disappointment that there cannot be unconditional friendship between members and non-members.
It does have to be said, too, that if Peapod had used his own name, it would have been a different matter...and he wasn't being openly critical within the fellowship, but out here. I am pretty certain he would not get a healthy reception if he voiced his criticism within the fellowship.
