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>"I think the primary irk you and others have about >this "if you leave you'll go to hell comment" is that >it has been alluded if you leave the JA you go to >hell. Now, I have not heard that - for instance, I've >not heard "..... if you leave the JA and go to Harpole >Baptist Church you'll go to hell"." > >Sorry to butt in, but I DID hear Noel say that. > >He said, many times, that if we left the JA and went >to one of those "Namby Pamby" churches, we would go to >hell. > >It terrified me into staying, even though the bullying >and double standards in the JA was near on >intolerable. Every day I was so miserable, and every >day I was worried out of my mind that I might go to >hell. It was like actually being in hell, I thought I >already was in hell, except that it was cold. I can't >describe how bleak everything felt at that time, it >was like a really black tunnel. > >The JA vision of heaven seemed horrible. To my mind, >which, I admit was very broken, due to the child abuse >and psychiatric abuse I had suffered, but their vision >of heaven seemed to be one long cold everlasting >Sunday Rant meeting. There was absolutly no joy or >peace in it, you were forever watching your back for >the JA Jesruit bullies. You were sneered at, watched >constantly in case you put a foot wrong. You were >"disciplined" into eating food which made you gag >(cole slaw and orange tinned beans - I have a food >phobia against these foods, it was like being forced >to eat poo and vomit to me) and laughed at when you >busrt into tears. I don't know why they couldn't be >kind, like Jesus. But they said they didn't believe in >the "love gospel". I thought the gospel was all about >love. What they said really muddled me up a lot. The >Bible said one thing and the JA said something else, >and the JA said that they were always right. > >I know I am not quite right in the head, before anyone >has a go at me. There is Aspergers in our family, it's >not my fault, and I have tried to fit in, and change, >I've really tried my best. I used to cry all the time, >and they used to think it was like a joke, and laugh >at me. That was the worst thing. They said I was not >allowed to show my emotion, and it was just really >confusing. How can you rip yourself inside out, as if >you were a sea cucumber? > >Noel was ALWAYS going on about that we would go to >hell if we left the JA and went to another church. I >heard him say that many times, in the dreaded Sunday >Morning meetings.
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