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Date Posted: 22:24:14 05/25/04 Tue
Author: nojdw - 22 Apr 2004
Subject: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE


WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE
ROAD?

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed
the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or
not. The chicken is
either against us or for us. There is no middle
ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly
see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the
road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did
not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it
was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working
American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road,
but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road,
and I'll bet that somebody
out there is already forming a support group to
help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe
this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens
crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm
talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build a
road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell
my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider
information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the 'other
side'. That's what they call it the other side.
Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I
say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the
other side."

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads
without having their motives called into
question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we
will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-
warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and
went on to accomplish it
life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together - in
peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone
before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which
will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your
checkbook, and internet explorer is an integral
part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said
unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst
cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

J. DONALD WALTERS
See if they will accept the chicken.

J. DONALD WALTERS
The chicken and I have a great work to do.

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