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Subject: YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN.... AND MORE Author: David [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 09:02:16 03/07/06 Tue YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN.... AND MORE You might STILL be a Republican if........ You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib. You can't stand Hilary Clinton's hair but you have no problem with Tom DeLay's. You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a major problem. You support the "war on drugs" but think Rush Limbaugh is being prosecuted unfairly. You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton's kids deserve everything they have. You like the way George Bush walks. You think Al Gore is "wooden" and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma. You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral. You like the sound of Newt Gingrich's voice. You are sure the United States has the best education and health care systems in the world. You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter. You think Michael Chertoff's beard makes him look distinguished. You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers. You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky's blue dress than to locate weapons of mass destruction. You don't believe "terrorism" has made Rudy Giuliani an incredibly rich man. You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and does, but burning a flag should be illegal. You can be in the same room with Brit Hume. You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off now than 5 years ago. AND The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]