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Subject: Im confused! HELP!

Author:
Faith
[Edit]

Date Posted: 08:39:55 07/15/03 Tue

alright i have this boyfriend who i love so much and i have been with him for over a year. my family loves him and i love his... i also have this one guy friend that i have been attracted to since the day i saw him. we have became pretty good friends and well recently he has told me that he loves me. I have noticed that i have begun to fall for him alot and that i do love him. and lately things with my boyfriend have become dull and predictable. i dont know what to do im scared to leave my boyfriend yet im scared to not try it with my friend. But i also dont wanna look back when im older and think about what if i didnt go with this person or stayed with the other. im so confused could u please help me to conside what i should do?

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[> Subject: Re: Im confused! HELP!

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 19:49:04 07/15/03 Tue

I think you should be honest with your current boyfriend and just explain to him that you are still young and aren't ready to settle down with one person right now. I think you are right when you say that you may regret not exploring your options once you are older. If it turns out that your boyfriend is "the one", then he will still be around when you are ready, and if he isn't, then it wasn't meant to be. Good luck.

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Subject: I am guilty

Author:
Cherry
[Edit]

Date Posted: 19:41:01 05/24/03 Sat

I have been married for 4 years, my husband is very loving and a caring person. About an year back I met this guy, we use to talk a lot and connected well. After a couple of months we started flirting. Although it was harmless, but then we got attracted towards each other. All this time I kept telling myself that its not fair and I should stop this. Then one time, we both got carried away and got physical. We didnt go all the way, but now,I feel extermely guilty of cheating on my husband. I cried a lot and my heart just wants me to confess this to my husband. I know if I do, he will never forgive me and if I dont tell him, its killing me inside. I have ended all relations with the other man and I swear I will never ever do anything else to harm my family again. But whatever happened, its making me really sick. Please tell me what shall I do?

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[> Subject: Re: I am guilty

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 21:26:54 06/27/03 Fri

I think your husband deserves to know the truth. You made a mistake and you need to let him decide if he still wants to be with you or not. He needs to know. You sound very sorry for what happend and you need to tell him that it was a terrible mistake and give him your word that it will never happen again. I hope everything works out for you.

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Subject: money in my bra

Author:
linda
[Edit]

Date Posted: 10:34:45 05/17/03 Sat

hi dr. lisa. last month i went to visit with my family that lives outside las vegas. whenever i go out espically into the las vegas casinos i allways carry my change purse inside my bra with my cash carkeys and credit card. i know my brother in law gets turned on whenever he sees a woman with her money inside her bra the way i do. well knowing this i wore a tight fitting tank top and went out of my way to have him see me reaching down my blouse to get at my money every time it came time to buy something. i was having fun with him and i couldnt stop myself. i think my sister is mad at me though she has not at this time said anything. we are planning a trip to the caribbean this winter and i know i will do the same this time in a bikini. do you think i am out of line or is this innocent form of flirting??? linda

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[> Subject: Re: money in my bra
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 21:34:33 06/27/03 Fri Yes, you are out of line. Sounds to me like you are in desperate need for attention of some sort. There are plenty of ways to get attention other than hurting your loved ones and family members. I suggest you find some. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: in love with a much younger guy

Author:
sea
[Edit]

Date Posted: 18:54:23 04/24/03 Thu

i am 40 and he is 27. we met online 2 years ago and became good friends. i was still with my husband at the time but we became separated over a year ago. my problem is that i fell in love with this guy. we've only met face-to-face three times. the first time was very innocent, the second time touching, but the third time there was some penetration. he moved hundreds of miles away a month ago and i miss him terrible. he moved to start his business with a few friends and he hasn't been in touch as much as before. i know he's busy with trying to get his house together and get the business set up, but i miss him so much but don't want to seem pushy because i may chase him away. he knows how i feel about him and i don't think he would intentionally hurt me, but i need to know if i should give him space and see what happens or what? i've asked him many times if there was anyone else in his life and if so that was ok, because i would just walk away. he has said over and over that he has no girlfriend, fiance' or wife. he has said to me over and over that he would be here for me no matter what and not to worry. i'm afraid to trust him totally since being deceived and lied to by my husband for many years. but i really love this guy. i've never felt this way about anyone before. i married my husband at 17 and he was 27 at the time and i knew for years i didn't love him especially after all the hurt and pain he caused me. what should i do about this younger guy. should i just walk away from him or what? please help me.....please!

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[> Subject: Re: in love with a much younger guy

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 14:04:47 04/25/03 Fri

First of all, I don't know what you could possibly have in common with a 27 year old man. Secondly, at age 27, I am sure he is looking for a woman to marry him and have children with him. Are you, at age 40, willing/able to do this? I think that it might be fun to date or hang around this guy, but I wouldn't expect anything serious to come out of it.

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Subject: Aussie man

Author:
teala
[Edit]

Date Posted: 18:07:56 03/22/03 Sat

Hello....

I have a problem.

I have been with Yancy for almost 4 years. We are best friends, and get along most of the time. But we never kiss or have sex, and he never talks about it. I know he isn't cheating on me or anything like that, and he is not gay. He has never been agressive at all...

I have been talking to Edward from Australia (I live in the USA) for over a year now. We get along very well...and he is more my type when it comes to physical romance. We talk about sex and things of that nature..I know he is passionate and agressive, both of which I love. I see him on his web-cam, and talk to him on the phone. I really care a lot for him. He wants to move to my state and be with me..

I just don't know what to do! I have tried the usual...talking to Yancy over and over again about how I feel. Even counselling hasn't worked. I don't know what to do. Please help!!

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[> Subject: Re: Aussie man

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 16:12:32 03/27/03 Thu

First of all, there is no way that you know this "Edward" (if that is even his real name), that well. You talk to him on the internet and that is it. Don't fool yourself. He is probably just telling you what you want to hear and you are filling in the blanks with some fantasy in your head. The point is, it is not a real relationship.
Secondly, I consider you talking to this man on the computer, cheating on your husband. Here is why . . . would you allow your husband to stand over you while you are typing to this man? The answer is no. Does your huband know about this man? Probably no again, right? Okay, that is cheating. If you are that unhappy in your marriage, then get out. You only live once. Find what you want and stop lying and cheating on your husband. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to you.

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Subject: MY DAUGHTER

Author:
THE MOTHER
[Edit]

Date Posted: 04:55:21 03/10/03 Mon

MY DAUGHTER WAS ABUSED BY HER FATHER AT THE AGE OF THREE
SHE IS NOW SIX SHE STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO CUT THE STORY SHORT MY MUMS FRIENDS WERE AT SHOPPING STORE AND THEY SAW (A)(THE FATHER) WITH A LITTLE GIRL ABOUT SIX HE WAS GOING IN TO THE MENS TOILETS WITH THIS LITTLE GIRL SO THEY KEEPED AN EYE ON HOW LONG HE WAS IN THERE HE WAS IN THERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE WHEN HE CAME OUT HE WENT TO THE RESTURANT AND SAT DOWN WITH A WOMEN & A OTHER LITTLE GIRL NOW I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THE WOMEN DIDN'T TAKE THE LITTLE GIRL MY MUMS FRIEND SAID THE LITTLE GIRL WAS HER DAUGHTER IT REALLY HURTS THAT HE MIGHT BE DOING THE SAME TO HER WHAT HE DID TO MY DAUGHTER THE ONLY THING IS THAT HE NEVER GOT CHARGED FOR THIS BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS TO YOUNG TO GIVE EVIDENCE & I WAS TOLD BY SOICAL SERVICERS THAT WAS WHY, BUT THEY INTERVEIW AND SHE TOLD THEM EVERY THING WHAT HE HAD DONE TO HER AND SHE HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL TOO THIS IS SO WRONG I HAVE SO MUCH HATE FOR HIM HE HAS MADE MY & MY DAUGHTERS LIFE A LIVING HELL I WISH HE WAS DEAD HE SOULD BE PUT ON THE PEDERFILE LIST CAUSE THAT WOMEN MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT HE HAS DONE SORRY I FEEL SO LONELY THAT ITS JUST ME & MY DAUGHTER MY MUM DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND SHE SEE US LOOKING HAPPY BUT WE ARE REALLY NOT (PUTTING A BRAVE FACE ON) EVERY-ONE THINK WE ARE ALRIGHT THAT WE ARE OVER IT BUT FAR FROM IT ITS NICE TO WRITE THIS IT SEEM TO GET ABIT OFF MY CHEST EVEN IF YOU DONT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE THANK YOU

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[> Subject: Re: MY DAUGHTER
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 14:38:08 03/11/03 Tue I think that you and your daughter should both go into counseling immediately. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: rejected wife

Author:
cheryl
[Edit]

Date Posted: 14:22:54 03/06/03 Thu

DEAR LISA,
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS AND WE HAVE A 4 YOUR OLD DAUGHTER. MY HUSBAND SNORES HORRIBLY AND I HAVE OFTEN SLEPT IN HER ROOM. I HAVE RECENTLY NOTICED MY HUSBAND ASKING ME TO GO SLEEP IN HER ROOM. HE USES VARIOUS REASONS SUCH AS HE KNOWS HE IS GOING TO SNORE OR HE JUST CAN'T SLEEP AND WANTS TO BE ON THE COMPUTER. HE GOES TO PORNO SITES AND SITS UP HALF THE NIGHT TOUCHING HIMSELF. I ONCE ASKED HIM HOW COME OUR SEX LIFE SUCKS AND HIS RESPONSE WAS HE IS TIRED AFTER WORKING ALL DAY. I KNOW HAVE NO SELF WORTH, I AM SO ANGRY AT HIM I CAN BARELY CONTAIN IT. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONFRONT HIM THE NEXT TIME HE REQUEST I GO SLEEP IN MY DAUGHTERS ROOM. I PLAN TO CAUCH HIM IN THE ACT AND TELL HIM HOW I FEEL AND WHAT I THINK ABOUT HIS ACTIVITIES. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO JEALOUS AND HAS ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING ON HIM SEVERAL TIMES. I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO CHEAT. I FEEL SO REJECTED. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE. I CAN NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS AS I AM SO EMBARASSED. I FEEL LIKE MY WHOLE MARRIAGE HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT A JOKE.

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[> Subject: Re: rejected wife

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 14:43:45 03/11/03 Tue

You have major problems in your marriage, but you already knew that. You need to sit down and have a very serious talk with your husband right away about his actions and tell him that he has to change. You are not demanding something outrageous, so do not accept any answer from him, but "yes, honey, I will change right now".

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Subject: Angel

Author:
D Child
[Edit]

Date Posted: 22:17:50 03/05/03 Wed

Hi, Dr. Lisa. I have been talking to this Beautiful woman on the internet off and on for the past year and I want to send her something that won't give her the wrong idea. She has been there for me through some tough times. I want her to know that I think we have a special trust and friendship even though we are both married. And I hope that never ends. She is kinda like an Angel to me and I appreciate her. Do you have any ideas?

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[> Subject: Re: Angel
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 14:47:32 03/11/03 Tue It sounds like both of you are very lucky to have such a good friendship. It is nice to always have someone that you can talk to and that you can trust. I am sure that the two of you will be friends for a very long time. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: help me!
Author: scott [Edit]	Date Posted: 14:53:38 02/09/03 Sun Dr Lisa, please! help me! i have this really bad problem that when i get all really relaxed and stay still, i get this tickily thing in my vanjina and i have to cross my legs and i like the feeling of it but i wont to stop! please! can u give me any advice on how to stop>? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: help me!
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 18:44:24 02/10/03 Mon Imagine yourself with Tom Arnold . . . the feeling should go away shortly after that. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: exibitionism

Author:
Chris
[Edit]

Date Posted: 23:09:29 02/04/03 Tue

I love for women to see me masturbting. If I don't know the women it's better. Hotels seem to be the best place, as the maids don't expect to see a naked man jerking off like crazy when they open the door. I come right after they see me; every time. I love this and don't know if I can quit. Please help me quit letting strange women see me jacking off. My girlfriend would hate this if she knew.

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[> Subject: Re: exibitionism
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 18:47:33 02/10/03 Mon Keep all sexual activity in the bedroom . . . if you keep doing it in front of strangers, you may find yourself in jail. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: need some advice

Author:
don't wanna
[Edit]

Date Posted: 02:14:39 01/18/03 Sat

Hey, about December shortly before Christmas (like a week before) I was pulling a grueling 16 hour shift as a Security Officer. About two hour before I was suppose to get off of work I had a call come in telling me to call 911 and that someone "fell out". That was around 0600 in the morning. Maintence performed CPR until the Ambulence was suppose to arrive. They arrived at 0610. All of them performed CPR on this guy for an hour. I was down there and seen it all. The following day, the safety manager brings a specialist psychologist in to talk to everybody in that department and the people involved except one person, me. I was traumatized really. The reason I couldn't go was because the Safety Manager really doesn't like Security but it wouldn't of killed her to let me go.
Anyways, I don't make enough to talk to a psychologist and it still bothers me to this day. I just some advice.

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[> Subject: Re: need some advice
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 16:31:15 01/28/03 Tue You need to go to the highest person in your company and make a written demand that a psychologist be provided to you. You were injured at work (it doesn't matter if it is mental or physical), so it is your employer's job to fix it. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: baby prob

Author:
alfred O'chilren
[Edit]

Date Posted: 19:56:38 12/04/02 Wed

dr.lisa first off thanks for your help on this problem, i'm a 25 year old man who just got my girlfriend knocked up i don't belive in abortion and she feels the same. now i how can i get out of being this kids dad, should i just disapear or should i be a man about it and tell hear that i don't want a kid and leave. thank for your help

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[> Subject: Re: baby prob
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 14:13:16 12/05/02 Thu First of all, shouldn't you have thought about this before you had unprotected sex? Secondly, at 25 years old you certainly are not a child and you are capable of raising a child. This baby is going to need you in his or her life. Please don't be a bum and abandon this new family you created. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: baby prob
Author: alfred O'chilren [Edit]	Date Posted: 21:19:02 12/05/02 Thu thats where your wrong i did use prtection, it failed and if the good people of the condom industry arn't responsible then why should i be i didn't want this. and as far as being a bum any kid is better off no knowing me. please try again [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: baby prob

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 14:11:22 12/06/02 Fri

Alright, so you used protection, but didn't you know that having sex (even if you use protection sometimes) could result in getting a girl pregnant? If you are 25 years old, I know you knew that. You are an adult and now it is time to face up to your responsiblities. You are going to be a dad and there is no greater responsibility than that. Don't use "the kid would be better off not knowing me". Give me a break. Be a man and deal with it.

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Subject: boyfriend....problem

Author:
megan
[Edit]

Date Posted: 11:39:45 11/27/02 Wed

k.....ive been dating this guy for 6 months and he treats me really well..i dont do good with commitment from past experiences..i really dont want to hurt him or myself again...anyways its been really serious,his buddy doug came down to live with him. Im really attracked to him..its no fun..and i felt this way even befor doug came that i was detaching myself from vince to...cause of fear..and i really dont know if i wanna b with him because he knows theres sumthin up betweeen doug and i and he doesbt like it when we even talk, we got in a big fight over it all and i feel im not emotionally or mentally able to deal with this right now too.The hole relationship stuff. But i really dont know if i should wait or give us a goood break for abit...um i really need it...but give sum best advice on what u think i should do...Like i would love to been his friend...should i tell him i do like doug

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[> Subject: Re: boyfriend....problem

Author:
Dr. Lisa
[Edit]

Date Posted: 13:45:37 12/02/02 Mon

You don't sound like you are ready for a serious relationship to me. I would give it a break for a while. As far as Doug goes, I am sure you don't want to hurt your boyfriend and that is exactly what you will do if you tell him you like Doug. Besides, if Doug is a true friend to your boyfriend, nothing will come out of it anyways so save yourself the embarrassment. Hope this helps.

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Subject: Teaching little sister-in-law

Author:
Steve
[Edit]

Date Posted: 09:53:18 11/26/02 Tue

I was 30 at the time - I was swimming with my young sister-in-law(wife little sis - 16 yo) and being the perv that I am noticed that her pubic hair was showing. I swam under the water quite a few times for the nice free show. As we walked back into the house, my wife had left to go shopping and pick up some lunch. (Which left us alone) I acted as if I had some secret to tell and softly said " I noticed that you pubic hair was showing." She began to turn red and I said "Didn't anyone ever teach you hoe to trim and shave?" Her having come from a very old fashioned and overly modest family - I knew the answer would be no. I pulled her into the bathroom and reached down and pulled her swimming suit aside. She jumped a bit, but because of my acting confident and no chalant about it she soon relaxed. I played with the hair a bit and even touched her lips. I told her that I would get some scissors and shaver and to stay right there. When I came back, I moved her over to the shower and sat her on the side of the tub. I proceeded to help her out of her swimsuit and briefly admired the young firm body. Still having to act serious, I reached down and spread her legs. She sat so innocently, and vulnerable it was all I could do not to begin fondleing and licking her. I trimmed some hairs and then turned on the hand shower to wet her down and lather her up. As I soaped her crotch my fingers began to wander, and made contact with her clit. She took a quick breath but acted normal. Then she said, "Are you sure we should be doing this?" I acted as though I was trying to help her and said "Well, you should have been taught this long ago, but I think you Mom or Sister would be to embarressed to talk about it, sooo.... its probably not a good idea to mention it to them." I proceeded to shave her there and then let her finish her shower. (Of course I stayed for the free show- what else did she have to hide at that point.) when she got out I held her towel for her and then had her lay on the bed and I lotioned her body. She thought that I was just being nice to her, but it gave me the chance to touch every part of her body. I did tell her if she ever needed help like that again to let me know. I will teach her anything she wonders about. I helped her get dressed and she acted normal the rest of the day. But,I began to feel guilty. Should I not worry about it - after all it started out with me just trying to help her social life. What if someone else at the pool would have seen?

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[> Subject: Re: Teaching little sister-in-law
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 14:18:34 11/26/02 Tue Dear Steve: You need to have your head examined. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: "stone in love"
Author: johnny hung low [Edit]	Date Posted: 15:03:11 11/25/02 Mon Lisa, i work for a major stone co. and have the hots (i mean the hots!) for the showroom manager. i know she's married but when i see her tight ass and huge tits i go crazy. i think she feels the same about me because i always catch her looking at my package, what can i do? sincerely, "stoned" [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: "stone in love"
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 21:31:38 11/25/02 Mon Dear Stoned: I think you should stay away from her if she is married. There are plenty of "asses" and "tits" out there that are not married. Find a set that are attached to a girl that is single. Good luck. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: GAYMAN!!!

Author:
Sabatian Rassmussen
[Edit]

Date Posted: 07:59:25 11/20/02 Wed

Hi Lisa,
I am a gay man who has always been obssessed with woman! Even as a young child I would hide in the closet and look at playboy magazines, I love watching videos with lesbian scenes. My husband "Butch" caught me the other day looking at a beautiful girl and he beat me senseless while pinching my nipples, and told me I was a bad bitch (I cried for days). One day I even paid for sex with a woman, It was great. Do you think I should have an operation to remove my penis? that would end this torment.

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[> Subject: Re: GAYMAN!!!
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 13:38:18 11/21/02 Thu Hmmm let me think about this. It's a tough one, but did you ever think that maybe you aren't gay? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: GAYMAN!!!

Author:
Sabatian Rassmussen
[Edit]

Date Posted: 12:22:31 11/22/02 Fri

>Hmmm let me think about this. It's a tough one, but
>did you ever think that maybe you aren't gay?

Why do you have to be so hurtful? I was merely asking for your advise, and you shout at me and insult me. Telling me I'm not gay!!! How many men do you know that wear yellow crotchless panties while spanking thier own ass with chopsticks? or have a dream of being a zoo keeper and hiding peanuts in my ass while feeding the elephants. You should think before you jump to conclusions Dr. Lisa..I bet you're not even a real doctor.....

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Subject: gone with the wind?

Author:
heev-o
[Edit]

Date Posted: 17:37:36 11/20/02 Wed

i've been dating thing girl for about 4 months now and she's perfect for me the only problem is that i think she has a problem controling her gas. she slipped a few in my car on our first date and i actted like i didn't smell them, i think now she thinks that they have no smell so she rips them all the time. should i keep holding back the heevs and pretend i don't know or should i finally say something. i'm just afraid that i might vomit if i don't say something but i'm also afraid if i tell her she'll leave me after all this has been going on for 4 months.
thanks for your help........

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[> Subject: Re: gone with the wind?
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 13:41:25 11/21/02 Thu When you take her out to dinner next time, don't let her eat any fiber. Best of luck. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: Dead family pet
Author: Crystal [Edit]	Date Posted: 17:36:13 11/19/02 Tue Our family dog just died and I don't know how to tell my kids who are 5 and 7. Any suggestions? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Dead family pet
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 17:41:17 11/19/02 Tue Dear Crystal, Be honest with your children. If you haven't discussed death in the past with your kids, now is as good of a time as any. Death is a part of life. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: 25 years
Author: Bob [Edit]	Date Posted: 17:28:18 11/19/02 Tue Dear Dr. Lisa, This month I will be married to my wife for 25 years. Any suggestions on a gift for her? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: 25 years
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 17:32:57 11/19/02 Tue Dear Bob, I have no idea what your wife would like. Everybody is different. I could tell you what I would like. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

Subject: Boyfriend a Cheater?
Author: Sharon [Edit]	Date Posted: 22:42:00 09/28/02 Sat Dr. Lisa, I have been dating my boyfriend for six months now and I think he has been cheating on me because I have caught him in several lies regarding his whereabouts. What do you think? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Boyfriend a Cheater?
Author: Dr. Lisa [Edit]	Date Posted: 17:25:00 11/19/02 Tue Dear Sharon, Trust is the most important thing in a relationship, so if your boyfriend is not being truthful regarding his whereabouts, then maybe it is time to find a new man. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

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