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Date Posted: 14:21:19 01/09/01 Tue
Author: By: The Chad family
Subject: Liberals, a Cautionary Tale.

Cast: Hanging Cad, Dimpled Chad, Pregnant Chad, Al Gore, Janet Reno, National Guardsmen
[scene: a really dumpy looking living room] {Dimpled Chad's voice} "Well we had a nice vacation in Florida but ever since Al Gore lost the election I have been out of a job. I could get a new job fairly easily, but I just don't want to. I really need money. My wife is pregnant and I maxed out all of our credit cards buying unnescessary Christmas gifts for my kids. At least we have a roof over our heads. Ever since the Gore-owned slums were deemed unfit for human habitation we have been living there. But we need help, the walls have dry rot, there are roaches everywhere, and the toilets won't flush. At least the Liberals are giving us food stamps (Which, thankfully, can be traded very easily for crack cocaine). My son ,Hanging, gets free breakfast and luch at the local public school ( even though he is an illegal immigrant). I am so depressed. My family is totally dependent on working Americans who unwillingly support slackers like me with 1/3 of their tax money. That bastard Al Gore said we would be famous once he won the election. That communist son of a b---- lied to me. My life is Hell. I think I'll go kill myself." {he picks up a registered handgun, unlocks the government mandated trigger lock, and places the gun to his temple} *BLAM* {Pregnant Chad's voice} "Honey, what was that?" {she rushes into the room} "Holy recount! He's dead! Why?!?!?! Why!?!?! I can't face life alone!" {she picks up gun and puts the barrel into her mouth} *BLAM* [scene: front porch] {little Hanging Chad opens up the front door and walks into the living room} "Mommy, Daddy?!?!? They're dead!! They committed suicide because of those Libiberal a--holes!" {Al Gore walks into the room} "Don't worry little boy.I care about the American people and I will fight for you. Just the other day I passed legislation in Washington that caused Ferdenstine Kniklehopper to recieve a new desk because she had to stand up in her class." {Hanging Chad} "Didn't she have to stand because the classroom was so crowded with new computers? And didn't she have to stand only for one day?" {Al Gore} (sighs loudly) "Actually, you are right, but I want the last word. And my opponent ,George Bush's tax cut will only affect the top ten percent..." {Hanging Chad grabs up handgun} "I have heard you say that for about as many times as I can take. You caused the death of my parents you Democommie! Get the hell out of here!" {Hanging points gun at Al Gore, Al gore runs out of house} [scene Washington D.C.] {Janet Reno} "I want you to burn that damn kid out of that house. None of the sissy s--- like I had to do with Elian. I want another Waco dammit!!! Kill them all!!!" {National guardsman} "Yes sir, Ms. Reno sir." [Scene: Midnight, silence, the outside of the slum where Hanging Chad is living. National Guardsmen firebomb Hanging's Home and shoot him as he tries to escape}

The End

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