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Date Posted: 15:04:52 01/03/01 Wed
Author: a totally impartial and unbiased observer
Subject: Re: communal lounge story
In reply to: starbuck 's message, "communal lounge story" on 16:37:45 01/02/01 Tue

>The year was 2001, the place... Well, there really was no place. I guess you could say cyberspace, but that wouldn't be entirely correct. It was an exciting (or not so exciting) time for the students taking A.P. U.S. History over the internet through a company called... Apex. The students came from all over. They got along pretty well together, but sometimes there were arguements.


The greatest of these apex students was named Amanda Keppeler. She truly rocked the house. In fact, she was so great that everyone was in awe of her. They would have been jealous, but Amanda's great charisma and wonderful personality put them at ease. Unfortunately, the other students that only knew her over the internet could not benefit from these personable characteristics. So they were jealous. These feelings were heightened by the fact that many of these internet companions were silly republicans and conservatives. They would go on the internet and espouse their foolish beliefs, and Amanda (who also happened to be a genius) would easily prove the utter wrongness of their opinions with her amazing powers of reason and righteousness. Even though the truth was revealed to them in bright clarity, the silly republicans didn't want to see it. So they were all like "oh, we can't argue with you" -- which was true because they were wrong and refused to see the light. So then the Man made his appearance. The Man had all these ideas about what should and shouldn't be said in the Lounge. He didn't want language He considered inappropriate and demanded people treat each other with what He called Netiquette. This foul, totalitarian doctrine of Netiquette forbid the students to disrepect each other because of race, sex, beliefs, or any other qualities. This was difficult for the enlightened students (mostly found, strangely, in a little redneck town in Northern California known as Fort Bragg), because when they saw the overwhelming wrongness of the others opinions they HAD to tear them apart as a service to humanity. Plus, it was necessary to point out that some members of the group are dirty red bastards because of their race (ruskies...you know who you are) or the fact that they tend to smoke crack (see Kiwi, I got it in there) and have sex with strange men in order to obtain crack(you also know who you are). All these things would be forbidden by the unrighteous rule of Netiquette (which, by the way, if you rearrange some letters and replace a few, DOES read 'worship satan', really... think about it) on the pain of being exiled from the beautiful and glorious, although downtrodden and in dark times, land of Apex. So then, for the sanctity of freedom, a handful of noble students set off to create a new lounge where one would be free to say whatever they want and run laughing through the hills. They called this new Lounge of Liberty the Hartford Lounge, in memory of the Hartford Convention, in which several Jeffersonian Republicans got together in Hartford to protest the War of 1812 and talk about seceding and get really unpopular and hated by everyone. So, anyway, ummmm... bye for now... I wuv you.

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