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>I thought you'd like it, Karla, being from Canadia. :P > >*********** > > > >Dear Canada, > >We would like to formally request that you annex the >northeast, upper midwest and western coastal states of >the United States. > >It has become clear that the divide between us and the >rest of America hasnbecome insurmountable and that it >would be cruel and unusual punishment to force us to >endure four more years of an inept and self righteous >regime. > >We believe that President Bush and the Republicans >will be willing to go through with this annexation if >you simply point out these simple facts for them: > >**With the loss of the Northeast he can tell the South >that he has won the Civil war, which will give him the >only military victory he could ever actually achieve. > >**With the loss of Hollywood and New York, he will >have an easier time turning back the clock to the >1930's. > >**People will be able to buy pistols, machine guns, >missile launchers, grenades, and tanks without a 3 day >waiting period. > >**Smoking can again become legal for all children over >6. > >**Drinking and driving, as long as it's only beer and >a pickup will not be a crime. > >**This will lessen the draft dodgers and conscientious >objectors running to Canada when he does institute the >draft next year. > >**He will be rid of the biggest voices for civil >rights and civil liberties making it easier to >institute a police state. > >**He will finally be a popular president. Who knows? >Without these states he is likely to become King. > >**He can proceed with bankrupting the country so that >we can all go back to being subsistence farmers. > >**He would no longer be plagued by images of Americans >crossing the border for drugs since we would now be >part of Canada. > >**The reeducation camps for these areas will no longer >be required. > >**And finally, explain to him that you believe these >areas that contain hot beds of terrorism such as >abortion rights activists, evolutionary scientists, >environmental lawyers, liberal arts schools, and >investigative journalists who he will not otherwise >easily be able to attack or jail. > >We believe that if you can passionately explain to Mr. >Bush that this is what God would want in order for the >"True America" to survive, he will gladly go through >with the annexation. (Note: You will need your foreign >minister to present this idea while wearing a Texas >hat and spurs so he knows that you are truly speaking >for God). > >Now we understand that annexing these areas of the >United States may cause you some concern, but we have >some concessions to offer you. > >**We will reinstate the Montreal Expos. > >**We all agree to learn the finer points of Hockey and >are willing to supplement our taxes to their salaries >so that we can get on with the season. > >**We will put curling courts in to our community. > >**We will learn French and the Metric system > >**We will stop making jokes about Canada, since >clearly after this election we have nothing to joke >about. > >We hope that you will consider this offer carefully, >for without this annexation we simply do not know how >we can survive four more years. > >Regards, >Northeast, Upper Mid-West and West Coast America, AKA >the "Blue States"
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