| Subject: Daughter w/ PKD |
Author: Therese [Edit]
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Date Posted: 01:56:05 07/02/04 Fri
In April 2002, my then 17 year old was diagnosed w/ PKD. We knew there was a chance for her to get it. I have always been open w/ her about it. Her father (deceased at 44, 7 years ago) and his mother (deceased at 56) were diagnosed w/in 4 years of their death. Asymptomatic prior to that. In my initial research on the web, I was shocked to read that most folks are diagnosed (as a result of "some" type of pain that brought them to ER or doctor) between the ages of 35-50. Karla and I both thought she was having an appendicitis attack; but when I saw the ultrasound for myself that morning, I knew exactly what it was. I was heartbroken; she was only 17. The following weeks were hard--in/out of hospital, trying to accept this disease at such a young age, and trying to stay motivated to finish high school all at the same time. She did it though. Fast foward to now. When I came across this site/message board, it was comforting to see that it is not so all uncommon to be diagnosed w/ adult PKD at such a young age, and the advice/suggestions and support is tremendous. This is the reason for my message. I am writing for advice/suggestions in helping Karla w/ the emotional aspect of this disease. Since her diagnosis, Karla has felt like there is no reason to pursue anything, "I'm gonna die anyway....what does it matter, etc." (You get the point, but she feels her 'death sentence' -as she puts it- is too close to pursue college or to have aspirations, goals) I remind her she could die in a car wreck tomorrow. I steer away and try to help her steer away from indulging in self-pity. I don't discount her feelings at all. I empathize with her, knowing the bottom line is that she is "all alone" w/ this disease, no matter how much support and love we give her. We maintain a day-to-day positive attitude, but I can see her going thru another bout of deep depression, and I am running out of ideas to help her pull herself out of it. She does not want to see a therapist or support group; she stopped her anti-depressant about 3 months ago because she does not want to take a bunch of pills, she refuses to talk about her disease w/ family or friends, she refuses to learn more about it (the positive side of research/cure), etc. I hope I have painted a clear enough picture for any of you who may have some words of wisdom on how I may be able to help Karla get outta this rut and look to the future and look forward to the future. She knows only what to expect w/ regard to the hardship of this disease, which is painful. I see her losing her grip at times, and I worry she may become self-destructive. She's always been a confident, knows-what-she wants kinda person, and her loss of motivation is breaking my heart for her. What can I do?
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