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Date Posted:Sat, Sep 18, 06:07:44pm Author: scap Subject: Actual Requests Made to Librarians
Subject: Actual requests made to librarians
A Patron asked for a list of local schizophrenic people. "I need to talk to one to do a case study for a school assingnment."
"Where in the city directory are unlisted telephone numbers kept?"
Asked in California -"I need a sign language book for dogs.
Real question asked of a college student - "Who invented the time machine?"
Another college student - "Do you have any books on Malcolm the 10th, the civil-rights leader?"
A young man asked for information on positions. The reference librarian took him to the occupation section. "Oh I didn't mean that. What I meant was when people get married they have positions."
"Why are the largest islands found in oceans?" asked a football college student.
*A person called on a Thursday and asked if today was Good Friday.
A patron was upset that the library didn't have a copy of Jane Eyre. The librarian was certain they did and went to the stacks to pick it out. The patron was not still not happy and wanted to know why there wasn't a listing in the catalog under Eyre, Jane.
A frantic secretary rushed up to her reference librarian and demanded to see a copy of the "riot act". After the librarian responded with confusion, the patron exclaimed. "My boss wants me to read the riot act to a bill collector who has been bothering him and I need a copy of it!"
A eager young hiker wanted a map to the exact locations of all the lost treasures and mines in the Rocky Mountains.
A person wanting to visit Las Vegas was upset that there was no information on "The Sigmund Freud Show". After some time the librarian concluded that the patron was talking about the "Sigfried and Roy Show".
A patron wanted some pictures of "happy smiling vegetables". The library responded that they didn't know vegetables experienced human emotions. The patron was confused and then responded that they were wanting pictures of happy people who have severe brain damage. (The librarian didn't ask if the patron had a picture of himself :))
A patron wanted a book on inter-librarian loan - one of the Gutenberg Bibles. The patron eagerly explained that they would help pay the postage if necessary.
A sophmore in high school wanted a copy of a Jerusalem newspaper the date Jesus was born.
A student asked for the name of the author of "The Diary of Anne Frank".
A library once had to send out a bunch of notices as all its books on procrastination were overdue.
A patron wanted to reserve an audio tape on memory improvement, but couldn't remember the title of it.
A high school senior needed all the books written by Ibid.
Actual biography requests by high school students: *1-Pearl Harbor 2-Rosetta Stone 3-The Unknown Soldier buried in Arlington Cemetery *4-Ben Hur
A man called and wanted to know if this library was a government "suppository".
A high school student wanted books written in Spanish. The librarian produced a list of titles held, but the student wanted to know how the librarian knew that they were written in Spanish.
"I am certain my house has secret passageways, how can I tell?"
A man called wanting to know the blue book value of a Chevy Pickup truck. Librarian - What is the model and year? Patron- I don't know Librarian- What size engine? Patron- I don't know that either Librarian- Long-bed or short-bed? Patron- I don't know Librarian (exasperated)-What can you tell me about it? Patron-Oh, it has a gun rack, a hound dog, and a stricker of a Confederate flag on the back window.
