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>http://www.jaedworks.com/shoebox/flame.html > >Dear: >[ ] Sir[ ] Spammer [ ] Twit[ ] Clueless Newbie >[ ] Madam [ ] Comrade[ ] Management Baboon [ ] Idjit >[ ] Kook [ ] <AHEM!> [ ] Marketroid [ ] >Obergruppenfuehrer >[ ] B1FF [ ] 3L33T D00D!!! [ ] anon@penet.fi > [ ] Other:________________ > > >I took exception to your recent post to >__(newsgroup)___ > >It was (check all that apply): > > [ ] lame. > [ ] stupid. > [ ] pointless. > [ ] tasteless. > [ ] much longer than any worthwhile thought of which >you may be capable. > [ ] an obvious troll. > >Your attention is drawn to the fact that (check all >that apply): > > [ ] you made a ridiculously off topic post to a >newsgroup. > [ ] you made a ridiculously off topic post to >numerous newsgroups. > [ ] you obviously don't know how to read your >newsgroups line. > [ ] you started a long, stupid thread. > [ ] you continued spreading a long, stupid thread. > [ ] you crossposted a long, stupid thread. > [ ] you are the subject of a long, stupid thread. > [ ] what you said has been said before. > [ ] and it was said better the last time. > [ ] your post was a pathetic imitation of >___(net.personality)__. > [ ] your post originated on FidoNet. > [ ] your post originated on aol.com. > [ ] your post originated on ix.netcom.com. > [ ] your post originated on a FirstClass BBS. > [ ] your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, >BBoard, BBs Domain, or Notesfile. > [ ] you quoted someone's whole article. >[ ] and added absolutely nothing. >[ ] except your .sig file. >[ ] and added meaningless gibberish. >[ ] specifically, your .sig file. > [ ] you posted a "Check out my Web Page" article. >[ ] off-topic. > [ ] and your web page sucks. > [ ] you posted some sort of crap that doesn't belong >in this group. > [ ] again. >[ ] and it was boring. >[ ] the first time. > [ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' >article. > [ ] you predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net >(tm)". > [ ] from delphi.com. > [ ] from AOL.com. > [ ] from FIDOnet. > [ ] you advocated Net censorship. > [ ] you made one or more bigoted statements. > [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or >intellectual superiority. > [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group >is your preserve. > [ ] you are clearly up way past your bedtime. > [ ] you seem to be under compulsion to post to every >thread. > [ ] your post contained the terms (check all that >apply): > [ ] "surf the net" > [ ] "surf the web" > [ ] "hacker" > [ ] "warez" > [ ] "cyber___(insert suffix here)___" > [ ] "Information Superhighway > [ ] "\C\a\b\a\l" > [ ] your post contained commercial advertising. > [ ] for an obvious scam. >[ ] that's been posted so many times it has its own >cancelbot. > [ ] your post contained numerous errors in (check all >that apply): > [ ] spelling. > [ ] grammar. > [ ] fact. > [ ] logic. > [ ] YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION >AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!! > [ ] you posted a newgroup message without Leader >Kibo's permission. > [ ] you posted an rmgroup message without Bruce >Becker's permission. > [ ] you posted a test message to a non-test group. > [ ] your post/letter was a forgery. > [ ] a clumsy one. > [ ] you used the phrase "Information Superhighway". > [ ] to make a lame hiqhway-related analogy: > [ ] roadkill > [ ] pothole > [ ] other: ____________ > [ ] you asked for replies via email because you >"don't read this group". > [ ] you flamed someone who: > [ ] has been around far longer than you. > [ ] is far more intelligent and witty than you. > [ ] and considering who you flamed, that's >sad. > [ ] your post contained HTML tags. > [ ] which are not parseable under any known >implementation of HTML. > [ ] your lines are 80 columns wide or wider. > [ ] and your editor: > [ ] wrapped them, making them difficult to >read. > [ ] truncated them, making them impossible to >read. > [ ] your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that >apply): > [ ] it's longer than four lines. > [ ] and your server truncated it. > [ ] it was inserted in a posting you made >"anonymously" through penet.fi. > [ ] you included a stupid disclaimer. > [ ] which made an attempt at being witty. > [ ] and it failed. > [ ] miserably. > [ ] you stated you do not speak for your employer. > [ ] and included the company logo. > [ ] you included (check all that apply): > [ ] a stupid self-quote. > [ ] a stupid quote from a net.nobody. > [ ] a Rush Limbaugh quote. > [ ] an Adolf Hitler quote. > [ ] a Dan Quayle joke. > [ ] a reference to Beavis & Butthead. > [ ] one or more lame ASCII graphics (check >all that apply): > [ ] USS Enterprise > [ ] Australia > [ ] AT&T logo > [ ] bicycle > [ ] Bart Simpson > [ ] other:____________ > > Furthermore: > > [ ] you have greatly misunderstood the purpose of >___(newsgroup)__ > [ ] you have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the >net. > [ ] you are a loser. > [ ] *plonk* > [ ] you must have spent your life in a Skinner box to >be this clueless. > [ ] this has been pointed out to you before. > [ ] twice. > [ ] more than twice. > [ ] you appear to be an idiot. > [ ] you appear to be a raving lunatic. > > It is recommended that you: > > [ ] stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown >up. > [ ] stop reading __(newsgroup)__ and get a life. > [ ] learn to type. > [ ] consume excrement. > [ ] consume excrement and thus expire. > >Additional comments:
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