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Subject: Re: Losing everything

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Date Posted: 09:10:31 03/03/08 Mon
In reply to: Jessica 's message, "Losing everything" on 08:27:35 03/03/08 Mon

Dear Jess,

I am so sorry for all that you have been through. Thank you for writing it all out - it's a very important first step in the healing process.

You really went through a great deal of trauma in all this. You are actually doing pretty well, all things considered. Of course the entire situation is a very hard one - but there is hope.

If you lived in TX, I'd tell you to come stay with me. I have extra room! There are organizations that can help you wherever you live though.

Please visit this site:


Then contact them - there should be a center near you - and they can help with housing, counseling, and other needs.

You should also spend some time here:


There are numerous links on that page to resources.

I want to encourage you - you are NOT alone - this is actually more common than anyone knows - as you won't hear about it on the news, etc. So many women go through this very thing after an abortion. There is help out there.

You have already reached out, and keep doing that. It will be key to your healing process. You did suffer a loss - you lost your baby. You need to mourn - and in a healthy way - then you need to heal before you move on.

I truly empathize with your situation. I had an angry, alcoholic father that was verbally abusive and said and did many hurtful things. Your mom probably can't deal with his fall-out if she doesn't "side" with him at this point. Just try to understand they have big issues in their lives they can barely deal with.

Your partner is also hurting - that's one thing that really gets overlooked a lot - is how the guy feels in all of this. They aren't supposed to be emotional to begin with. It just goes on from there.

Your procedure was a traumatic one - which adds yet another dimension to all of this. I had a bad experience at PP myself, and I am so wary of them anymore. They are not the caring pro's they are made out to be.

Anyhow - please feel free to email me if you need to talk more - PLEASE contact CareNet people at the first link I gave you. Please continue to seek healing.

I will keep you in my prayers,



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[> [> Subject: Re: Losing everything

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Date Posted: 08:12:04 03/04/08 Tue

I also had a bad experience with Planned Parenthood. I also wanted to mention the site Silent No More Their purpose is to speak out against abortion by telling their stories of abortion. They also have great resources, phone numbers, websites, local contacts.

Don't give up on hope. You will never forget, and you will forever be changed. I believe in a God that forgives and can help you forgive yourself.

Thank you for writing here. Continue to post or email me. I've never been through an abortion so I can't fully understand (just being honest.) But I can listen.

Big hugs,


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[> [> Subject: Re: Losing everything

Jessica (Trying to look up)
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Date Posted: 10:17:33 03/04/08 Tue

I cant thank you enough for caring to see what I have to say. Yesterday for the first time I smiled on my own. My partner (whose name is Brian) and I talked a lot last night. And for the first time in weeks, we talked about the baby. I got to ask him just how he felt, and I was relieved to know that I'm not the only one who thinks about it all the time. I cant help but feel like I want the world to know my baby DID exist. I'm hoping I'll be okay, but I'm so scared. I feel like I have so many questions, and I'll never get the answers to them.

I keep feeling like everyone around me is going to think I'm strange or over-greiving for the things that I've been doing.
I'm an artist so one night after the abortion, I drew a self portrait, of me holding a baby wrapped in a blanket, but you cant see the babys face.
I also took the sonogram picture and put it in a frame that I keep close to me when I sleep.

Since I live in a house with several others, I keep wondering what they think when they see the things I'm doing.

I also keep having a hard time really believing that I have gotten an abortion. Why wasn't I a stronger woman and go with my heart?

I told Brian this last night, that it feels like someone I've known for years died. Though it wasn't years, it was someone's whole life. My grandmother (dad's mom) wants to have a ceremony in memory of my baby when the weather gets nice and when the issue isnt so in my face all the time.

I am also in the process of contacting Planned Parenthoods corporate. I feel I have a right to speak up against their uncaring, and most uninformative care. And for me to think that some other woman, or girl will go there and deal with the same stuff I went through sooner than later, Its horrible. I'm so glad I was able to get everything down.

I will keep posting with updates, thank you guys for your patients (for reading my novel of a story) and your support. It means the world to me


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