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Date Posted: 12:49:10 08/09/08 Sat

I am a twenty year old girl. I have had two abortions in two years. The first time it was with my first boyfriend and I was young and stupid. I realized that I was pregnant early and never had any regrets about my choice. However with my second abortion the child was the man I loved. He thought that he couldn't have children. It was a terrible experience. Right before they took me in for the procedure an ultrasound was preformed. The nurse and doctor had nothing to say to me but they talked about my babies heartbeat among themselves. We went to the operating room, I was already anxious and a little confused. As I laid down my doctor told me to relax all my muscles and remain calm. There was no lamalee inserted so my cervix was dialated by hand... I started to tear. Eventually I became insistant that I couldn't bear anymore pain and they gassed me. After the procedure my boyfriend ( who i was living with) drove me home, and never mentioned what happened. He was very sweet about doing anything that i needed, but unable to talk about what had happened. I felt like I had done something wrong, he continued to push me away and I became more and more depressed. As of yet I still can't get over it, although I can get out of bed in the morning now. But our relationship has weakened. I love him but what can i do to help him understand...

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Date Posted: 22:41:41 08/10/08 Sun

Dear Al,

I am very sorry for your loss and for what you are going through. I think one of the biggest misunderstandings in our society today is how deeply abortion can/may affect the people involved.

Please don't bury the feelings - that will only cause you emotional damage down the road. You need to deal with the pain and work through it all to really heal from it.

There are post-abortion counseling classes offered. The ones I know about are free - you can look up a place near you at this site and inquire about what they may offer or if they know of any near you:


They can be very helpful in guiding you through all this. Any counseling that helps to deal with grief would also be good.


I'm glad you found us here and glad you posted. It's great that you are opening up and seeking answers/help.


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