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Subject: An empty feeling

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Date Posted: 14:58:52 11/24/08 Mon

Im 20 years old and when I was 18 I had an abortion. At the time I was really confused. It wasnt the decision i wanted to make at all. When i told my boyfriend that i was with for 4 yrs that I was pregnant he really just left the decision to keep it o not up to me, but he kept droppingclues of how much of a burden it would be. And when I told my mother about my pregnancy she was Completely unsupportive. I understood her being upset, but she said so many horrible things to me, she begged me to get an abortion. She said she wouldnt be a part of my babies life or anything. After listening to her and to my boyfriend i decided to go through with the procedure. I was only 7 weeks pregnant at the time of the abortion so when it was over idint feel as though it was a big loss because i hadnt really had time to bond with my pregnancy and with my baby. Since then i have had 8 of my friends get pregnant and have their babies and now I feel empty. I watch my friends with their babies and emotions they have the firt time they hold them, and i feel a sense of jealousy. Dont get wrong im completly happy for them but i always want that feeling for myself. Btween the time of my abortion and now my BF and I broke up, but im with a new guy now who ive been with for the past 8 months. I really do love him, and im at the point were I really want to get pregnant again, and i know neither of us are ready for a baby, but parts of me want to just break down and get pregnant. My intent is not to get pregnant without him knowing about it at all. At the same time I know he wont agree to having a baby now. I know it sounds really stupid, but I'm afraid that my emotions are going to get the best of me and I'll end up being irresponsible and getting pregnant on purpose knowing that now is not the best time in my life for it.

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[> Subject: Re: An empty feeling

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Date Posted: 08:43:29 11/25/08 Tue

Dear Denise,

I am so sorry for your loss. What you are describing is actually very "normal" after an abortion. There's no time frame that follows your feelings. It's really important that you find healing before you get pregnant again. It's critical to you and your future childs well being. There is help out there for post abortion - please look up a center near you at this site - many of them offer FREE post abortion counseling. There is also a toll free number or email -


Keep looking for the healing you need.

Hugs, Kris

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