Subject: Confused -- Post Abortion Healing Support

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Subject: Subject: Confused

Author:
Elle

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Date Posted: 01:28:04 12/20/06 Wed

I had an abortion on November 11, 2006. My first and hopefully only. I am 29 years old and have been with my bf for 3 years. Our relationship is great but now was just not the time for either one of us to bring a child into this world. Somehow after 9 years of being on birth control pills, I actually missed multiple pills one month and the result was pregnancy. I never thought anything like that could ever happen to me. I was only about 4 weeks along when I had the procedure so it was relatively easy and i was up and about the same day. The problem is..I somehow feel numb to the whole experience. Like it didn't actually happen. The whole thing was so easy. I feel like I should feel more...more upset, more guilt, more depression. I mean, I find myself thinking more about it now....like when would my baby have been born, how far along I'd be now in the pregnancy, what his/her name would have been, will I be punished in the future for what I've done. Because I was so early, it just didn't seem real to me. I'm comfortable that I made the right decision although I never want to do that again...but I can't help thinking that I should feel much much worse about myself. I know it sounds ridiculous..but is there anyone else out there like me? I know I made the right decision for myself but was that selfish? Am I a horrible person?

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Re: Subject: Confused

Author:
Lahela
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Date Posted: 17:33:12 12/25/06 Mon

You're not a horrible person ((hugs)). Every women's experience is different and how she feels afterwords can be influenced by factors such as ambvience, her support system, legnth of pregnancy, and amount of knowledge about the decision and procedure. Feeling numb can be an intiall reaction, kind of like shock. Give your self time to process the decision and grieve a loss (whatever you may consider that loss to be) if you need to. And if you need to talk about it more, we're here.
Love,
Lahela