[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:41:12 11/26/04 Fri
I'm so sorry your mother wasn't there for you and her grandchild. I'm guessing she wanted the best for you and thought abortion was the best answer. However, she didn't know that abortion is quick fix that comes with a lifetime of pain.
I know the part all too well about how you feel like you are slowly dying.(I think about this all the time.) I know just how much you must be hurting inside right now.
No, I'm not post-abortive, but I too thought about abortion when I found out I was pregnant at 19. So I'm very involved as a pro-lifer. I sidewalk counsel outside of the abortion clinic near me. I try to give the girls and women hope... a way out from their abortions.
Sometimes they leave, but not many do. I wait until they come back out to offer them free legal assistance incase they've been physically hurt and to offer a number for free counseling...
Every Saturday, there is at least one girl who is sobbing. My heart just aches... and I cry so hard sometimes that my stomach clenches up and heart actually hurts. I wish there was a way to take your pain away.
We've all done things that we've regret, no one is perfect. I don't know if you believe in God, but I do.
I know that He created me, you, and your child. And that He forgives us when we are sorry, and I have faith that you will see your child again.
I know He has a plan for you. He created you for a reason. Your child is gone for the time being, but don't loose hope. There is always a bright side to every bad thing that happens in our lives.
Your child's death doesn't have to be in vain. So many women suffer greatly after abortion, you've been there... you know what it is like. When things are better, you'd be able to help others get over their pain.
Also, since you are in highschool right now, you CAN make a difference. So many girls get pregnant in highschool and will have abortions. You can be their child's voice... you can warn them of the devistation that comes from abortion. (If you feel comfortable letting others know your post-abortive... or you could even speak on general terms..."Abortion hurts women.")
I've talked with post-abortive women who have said that God was the only person who brought them peace. Most say that the scars will never go away, but the infection (the guilt, fear, heart-ache) does die and the wound heals.
There is a group called "Silent No More" (silentnomoreawareness.org)of post-abortive women who get together in different parts of the US and speak publically about how their abortions hurt them. The world needs to wake up and understand that abortion hurts women and their children. The are some of the bravest women I know and I look up to them, because it's not easy to come out and let others know you've had an abortion. You know?
There are retreats by "Project Racheal" that help women (and men) heal after abortions. Chances are that your boyfriend is hurting too...he should attend also. Does your mom know how the abortion has affected you? If you go on the retreat... invite her. Your mom may be secretly upset about leading you into the abortion... she may be hurting also and benefit from the retreat too. I've heard that the retreats have done wonders.
I believe that there is more info at the Silent No More web site.
Peace, hope, love,