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|Subject: my second abortion
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Date Posted: 11:28:54 03/08/05 Tue
when i was 22 i was young dum and in love i met what i thought was a wonderful man we were together for 3 yrs. so i became pregnant to make a long story short i was not the only one he empregnanted there were three others that were pregnant all at the same time i was disgusted and hurt i knew i could not make a life with this man and i also knew i could take care of it by myself so i had an abortion.it was a very difficult time for me because i still loved him and i knew it was over in my part plus i was very empty inside .at the age of 28 i met my husband we married and had a daughter. In the winter of 04 we decided to have a baby again i was pregnant by march we started argueing alot i was very moody i guess u can say it was my hormones. the arguement got so bad that we decided to have an abortion because we felt it would relieve some stress in the marriage and maybe we wasnot ready for another child and it had been a mistake .i had the abortion in may 04 and till this day i have hate and anger my relationship to my husband has gotten worse everyday i think why didnt he stop me.why didnt i stop myself i live with this pain in my heart everyday if we loved each other like we said we do why did we kill something that represented our love 4 each other.see when it happen to me the first time it was just with a guy who toyed with my feelings so evenually i got over it but for some reason i cannot get over this one maybe cuz i wake up everyday with that man that i love and ilook at him and see him go on his daily routine and as for me i wake with a pain in my heart that feels like is never going away.i am emotionally a wreck i donot know what to do i cannot go to my family cause they donot know.I feel that part of my life is gone i feel completely shutdown i no longer feel the love for my husband like it use to.i donot htink ill ever be the same again
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[> Subject: Re: my second abortion
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Date Posted: 07:59:43 03/09/05 Wed
Post abortion trauma is just plain unheard of and unspoken about. However, that is what you are going through. I encourage you to please look look here:
You need to forgive yourself and your husband - I know the hurt is so deep - but there was a famous woman that would say, "There is no pit so deep that He (God) is not deeper still" - Corrie TenBoom.
There are also Crisis Pregnancy Centers that offer free post-abortion counseling. Usually you can look those up online to find one near you, but I checked today and the site is gone/down/or messed up. So, look in the phone book under Abortion Alternatives. You will find some very caring confidential women at those pregnancy centers and they will help you. Don't put this off and let it destroy your marriage and yourself.
I am so sorry for the grief/loss and pain you are going through.
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