Author:
Christine
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Date Posted: 22:43:49 04/30/05 Sat
I had two abortions as a teenager -ages 16 and 19. I went into total denial and repression after the first one, which is why it was possible for me to have the second one. I am just now starting to face the fact that i killed my two babies. My parents drove me to the clinic when i was 16, but it was at my request. I know the pain you are feeling and it is like drowning. it has taken me 16 years to finally face killing my precious babies and i now can recognize that i suffered all these years with post abortion stress syndrome without knowing it --it has taken a great toll on my life -the abortions and the stress afterward, i am 34 now. i want to encourage you that it is a blessing that you are facing this now and not in 16 years. -that you are feeling the pain now instead of ignoring or pushing it away. praise God that you know and regret what you did now, and you wont make the same horrible mistake again like i did. the pain is unbelievable, but it will have an end. i am starting a post abortion recovery program with care net pregnancy center, a christian non profit. maybe there is one in your area. you need to have counseling and a recovery program to help you through this i do too. I don't know if you believe in God or Jesus Christ, but i could not imagine getting through this without His help. it is because of God that i have a hope for my future and i believe his promise that all things work together for the good of those who serve him, so i feel in my heart that he can use the life and death of my two children for his glory to help others. if my story can help just one confused and frightened woman to protect the life of her baby instead of killing her baby, then my children did not die in vain. It was since i have had a personal relationship with Christ (6 years now) that I have had the courage to face what I did instead of denying it. i also feel that i was duped by the rhetoric in this country, that when i walked out of that clinic after murdering my baby that i should shout and sing, "Thank God for the freedom to kill my baby that i enjoy in this great nation of ours --hooray that a constitutional right has just been exercized." i think that the laws of this nation should have protected me and my baby. nobody told me how i was going to feel. nobody at the clinic had me sign a statement that said "yes i am aware of and in approval of the fact that i am going to have my child killed today and i am ready to live with the consequences for the rest of my life" do you feel this way? i blame myself first and foremost, noone else. i just think that an unplanned pregnancy is a crisis situation for women who seek abortions, who thinks clearly in a crisis? abortion is a permanant solution to a temporary pressure situation. i think it is horrible that it is an option for woman and it is women who have the courage to speak out about how they were harmed by their abortions that might have things changed in this country. aboritons hurt woman terribly emotionally -you and i are feeling what i think might be the worst emotional pain a person can ever feel -the crushing regret of killing our own children. i don't think an abortion ever really helps a woman. please feel free to respond if you want to talk anymore. i will be praying for your recovery. there is hope for your future and God has a plan for your life and will dry every tear.
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Re: Abortion