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Subject: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
elizabeth
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Date Posted: 17:25:31 05/04/05 Wed

I had an abortion in march on the 17th to be exact...it was a very hard decision to carry out because i really want to be a mom, it was with the man i am head over heels for but it just was not right. now two months later he has left me to be with someone else even though he says things are great with us there is no x factor...part of me thinks that if i had of just kept our baby maybe we would be in a different place, then i feel so guilty for what i did and now wanting to have kept my precious baby to hang on to him....this is not me and i feel like my life is spiralling out of control i talked to someone and it didn't help i just wish i knew it got better because knowing i lost my baby and now the one i wanted to spend my life with at the age of 25 i am so lost. i still have bad dreams and it hurts so much when people talk about pregnancy and i can't share...i was 2 1/2 months along and had the nausea, weight gain, sore boobs, change in tastes, peeing a lot etc. but i can't talk about it and my biggest allie and partner in this is gone.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
Diane Cheryl
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Date Posted: 21:56:14 05/05/05 Thu

Dear Elizabeth.. I'm so sorry to hear your story. I would like to recommend some counseling but you said you talked to someone already. Who was this--was it a professional counselor? I would like to recommend a Christian and/or post abortion counselor. Please email me and we can talk more. Also if you would like some post abortion healing resources mailed to you, just email me at CHERYL51@aol.com
This offer is for you and anyone else reading this. Please contact me.
Diane Cheryl
[> [> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
Elizabeth
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Date Posted: 22:51:09 05/05/05 Thu

Dear Elizabeth,

Please listen to Diane Cheryl - there's a big difference between "talking to someone" and talking to someone who understands the wounds left on your soul when you have an abortion.

I'm so sorry to hear that your only support is gone but I'm glad you found this forum. Here, you can see that you are not alone - no matter what your struggle, someone has been down the road that you're on.

Feeling isolated? Normal. Bad dreams? Normal. Resistance to the sight of pregnant women? Normal.

This is all very natural - you're in pain and confused and your life is upside-down all of a sudden. You feel like everything is lost.

It's really scummy and sad that so many men project their guilt about the part they play in an abortion onto the woman, but that seems to happen a lot. It's especially cruel in light of the pain that the woman is already trying to cope with. I wish they could see what they're doing when they try to make themselves feel better about the abortion that they supported or even demanded.

I pray that you will find healing and peace. Please find a counselor who is well qualified to help you work your way through this very particular kind of trauma. It IS going to be better, I promise - but I would also add that you can take the long road that some of us took or you can avoid our mistakes and resolve this with much less anguish and wasted time.

Keep writing - we'll stay with you as long as you need us.

You'll be in my prayers,
Elizabeth
[> [> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
sarah
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Date Posted: 13:46:47 05/20/05 Fri

i just want to tell you that you are not alone i feel exactly the same as you have described


[> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
Diane Cheryl
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Date Posted: 21:24:07 05/09/05 Mon

Please post again and let us know how you are doing. Or you can email me anytime. Hope to hear from you soon..
Diane Cheryl

[> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
elizabeth
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Date Posted: 18:09:33 05/13/05 Fri

thank you for your support..i am not doing great but i am surviving able to go to work and carry on a fairly normal life with all that is going on...my significant other and have been talking and trying to figure things out but right now i am trying to just survive...again thank you for you kind words and caring because day to day it gets harder but everyday it gets just a tich easier as well.

[> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
Vickie
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Date Posted: 09:36:10 05/18/05 Wed

Elizabeth, I feel your pain.. and yes it will get better in time, with time and patience you can be on top of the world again..
If it will help with your pain at all, sounds like to me and with most cases like these, he would have left you any way. He is not a man, a real man would have not even thougth of an abortion, nor pressed you to get one.. and would have take responsibility. This guy didnt' do any of that and then left anyway.. so yeah he would have been out of your life no matter what. I know that may not be something you wanted to hear, but what you need to concentrate on right now is YOU! You need to take care of yourself so you can get on the road to recovery when you feel ready. We are here to help you, support you and encourage you to do that when you are ready.

Please keep us updated. ok?

Love and hugs
Vickie

[> Subject: Me too


Author:
lea
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Date Posted: 13:10:43 06/02/05 Thu

I can completely relate to what u are saying. I to recently had an abortion. (6 weeks) A choice I thought I would never have to make. I am not financial stable (unemployed) just moved all kind of drama and I got Preg. although I was using protection. Today my all so happy re elathionship is unreconizable, the guy say he is fine and we are ok, he is not judging me but still he does not come around anymore. I do feel I a lost for the unknown, the baby-child I will never know.And sometime I wonder if we would be together "playing" happy family but the I remember it is not a game. I remember I do not have a job,, no money and cannot raise a child on promises. I remember that relationships can change and all to easierly turn into oh he just my baby daddy. I want things for my life and I want my children lives to be secure. So when I cry and I do, I also remind myself of the reason I choose such a hard decision and then I go on and hope one day these feeling will be less.
[> [> Subject: Re: Me too


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 22:10:57 06/04/05 Sat

Lea,

My heart goes out to you. So many times abortion destroys a relationship, and in many cases, the woman overestimates the level of commitment of the guy in the first place (and often he does, too, until he is confronted with a serious responsibility that he thought he could avoid.)

Your reminding of yourself of the reasons why you had an abortion doesn't change the fact that you know in your heart that what you did was a violation of yourself, and violence toward your baby. The problem is, you won't begin to heal emotionally until you are willing to take full responsibility for the decision. Please consider that there are no guarantees in life, and that although we want to give our children the perfect home, it isn't going to happen. We all have to accept this. In fact, the perfect home would not be a good place for a child, because children whose every need and want is supplied never develop any strength of character. They become spoiled brats. Then when they face situations, such as the one you faced, they have no skills to cope with it and make the best of it. Furthermore, circumstances change, and there is help available. Most women can find the help they need to endure the present situation and they can live one day at a time until things improve, as they almost always do. Women can decide to use the situation to grow in responsibility and abilities. When this happens, their lives improve. This was the growing that you have been denied.

Women who have abortions go through stages in emotional recovery. The first stage is denial. Trying to justify your decision is a form of denial. You won't move on to the next stage of healing until you get past that. The next stage is being willing to admit what you did, confront it, face it, accept that what you did harmed you emotionally. Then you must be willing to forgive yourself. In my experience, the only women who really and truly heal are those who seek God's forgiveness as well.

One other thing: please do not blame yourself for any coercion your boyfriend used to persuade you to have an abortion. Think back on anything he said that pushed you into abortion in any way, including his telling you he's not ready for the responsibility (implying he wants you to help him avoid it.) Take responsibility only for your part in it.

I wish I had had the opportunity to talk to you while you still had a choice, so I could have told you of the consequences and you could have made an informed decision. Unless I miss my guess, you had no idea how hard this would be for you emotionally.

We are here to let you vent, to support you, emotionally and with prayer. You can heal emotionally and spiritually. I pray that you will be able to work through this and come out on the other side of it at peace with yourself. Yes, it is possible. That is why we are here.

Hugs,

Pat

[> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
gina
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Date Posted: 18:44:34 07/17/05 Sun

hey... i also had a abortion the same day...i new that i couldnt care for this child cause i have a disease that would have hurt it.. i also no im not fit to have one. but i feel so guilty... ive asked god to forgive me.. but i cant forgive myslef.. i know this is hard to say but if i had to do it over again i would... is that selfish of me? i only want whats best for me.. but then again shouldnt i want whats best for the baby????? im so confused.... please help its on my m ind all the time that im getting suicidal about....
[> [> Subject: Re: i am so lost and alone i just want to sleep and never wake up


Author:
Diane Cheryl
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Date Posted: 23:17:31 08/09/05 Tue

Hi Gina,
I wish that you would email me. We can talk more and maybe I can help. Please write me at DCHERYL51@yahoo.com
thanks
Diane Cheryl


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