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Subject: Will the pain ever stop


Author:
Laura
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Date Posted: 01:00:42 06/17/05 Fri

I was 16 when i had an abortion, my boyfriend at the time didnt want anything to do with me when he found out he just made it clear that he wanted me to have an abortion. I was 16 weeks pregnant and had to go through labour and see my little girl at the end of it. I am 20 years old now and the pain just keeps getting worse i can still picture my baby everyday and keep having nightmares about it all, i have tried to take over doses a few times but nothing works, i've started drinking alot more and taking drugs just to block out the pain. But it is still there the next day. i love my baby so much and just wish that i was with her, i hate not been able to hold her or kiss her, but most of all i hate myself, because it was me that killed her. i've tried to get pregnant since then but not been able to as yet. but if i never get pregnant again that is only what i deserve

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Will the pain ever stop


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:17:00 06/17/05 Fri

Dear Laura,

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are trying to deal with. I'm also so glad you have posted here and I hope you get many comforting helpful responses. Please take a moment and visit this site:

http://www.safehavenministries.com/

It is really wonderful - also, if you google "post abortion" you will find some other good sites and help.

You need to forgive yourself honey - you cannot go on the way you are trying to drown out the pain - that will not work. You need to grieve and you need to heal. This will carry on and on into every area of your life if you don't.

In some larger cities you can find CPC's that offer FREE Post abortion counseling and I urge you to check in your area and see if that's available to you you can look for a place here:


http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp


Don't just put this aside and think it will wait. You need to do something now -

I hope that helps - I do care!

Kris


[> Subject: Re: Will the pain ever stop


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 20:19:33 06/17/05 Fri

Laura,

I am so sorry! Obviously nobody ever told you what abortion was all about. You are not to blame for what you didn't know. That said, I agree with Kris. You need to forgive yourself. That's not easy. But it can be done. Let yourself grieve, as she said. You may find it helpful to do some kind of memorial for your daughter. You can plant a tree, or put a memorial online, and there are places that collect memorial plaques for display. Please read your Bible and seek God's forgiveness. He loves you, and He died for you, and even for what you have done. He forgave Paul, who murdered Christians, and made him into an apostle. What He did for Paul He is willing to do for you.

Don't try to drown your memories in alcohol or drugs. It won't help.

We love you and we will be here for you. Post any time.

Hugs,

Pat

[> Subject: Re: Will the pain ever stop


Author:
jordantaylor
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Date Posted: 01:29:07 07/04/05 Mon

Dear Laura,

I was almost 16 years old when I had my abortion and like you my boyfriend couldn't have cared less about me or my abortion. I never told him until eighteen years later. I have spent the past eighteen years anesthesizing myself with drugs and alcohol and am just now scheduling an appointment with a crisis pregnancy center to get some post abortion counseling... Don't waste anymore of your life punishing yourself for your mistake. Your child wouldn't want you to do that! Your child loves you and wants to see you in heaven. Don't spend the next twenty years paying penance for the child you aborted.. like i have. Just know that someone that has been there cares about you.. I am 34 now with three children. God can restore what has been taken away. Just put your trust in him Love, Jordan's mom

[> Subject: Re: Will the pain ever stop


Author:
Erika
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Date Posted: 01:19:14 07/16/05 Sat

thats horrible, I feel so bad for you, I dont want to even begin to imagine how that would have felt, even thinking of it breaks my heart. It's obvious you need help, you know deep down you do, but i think above everything i dont think you should be trying for another baby, just not yet, as it would seem to me that it would be a replacement for the one you tragically lost.
I seriously hope that you find so peace in your life

[> Subject: Re: Will the pain ever stop


Author:
Lacie
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Date Posted: 10:59:45 02/21/06 Tue

Oh, my heart breaks for you! That is one of the worst stories I've ever read...having had an abortion myself, i know all too well those feelings that you are having. I have finally come to terms with what happened to me. I beleive that bad things happen to us for a reason; to either teach us or teach others. Through my experience I found God again. I turned to him and that has made me feel so much better, everyday! I know God has forgiven me, and loves all of us so very much. He knows life's challenges are very hard for us, and is with us every step of the day. Just trust in His light to guid you, and you will never take a misstep.
I know you feel horrible. I have had days that are so devastating...but I'm over it now. I have been forgiven, and that is done. Please do not feel that you are being punished by God. A loving God would never give you your 'just desserts'. I used to feel this way too, until I had my beautiful little girl. You will have another when the time is right. Please just try to be patient and know that God is with you. Take this time to grieve for your baby and yourself. Know that your angel is lying in Jesus' arms, and she is feeling the most unspeakable bliss...I know this more than I know anything. Life is just a facade, but eternity is real and we'll all meet up in the end. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and humble. This experience has given you many things. Use those to help people. Many hugs


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