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Subject: Re: Young N Naive

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Date Posted: 22:10:34 01/03/06 Tue
In reply to: Gee 's message, "Young N Naive" on 22:45:50 01/02/06 Mon

Dear Gee,

What you are feeling is really quite common for a woman who has had an abortion. There are post-abortion help groups - some pregnancy centers offer them - you can start by looking up a center in your area at this web site:


Call and ask if they offer the cousneling (it's usually free of charge). I think it's a very helpful program.

You can also visit this web site:


They have more active message boards there. This one tends to be pretty quiet.

Please do reach out for more help. You are grieving a loss and it's very real and you need to deal with the emotions you feel in order to heal from them. I'm so sorry you are going through this........I will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs, Kris

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[> Subject: Re: Young N Naive

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Date Posted: 16:06:21 01/04/06 Wed

Hi, Gee,

If the doctor couldn't find the baby, how do you know you had one? It is not uncommon for an abortionist to do an abortion on a woman who was never pregnant. You could have had a miscarriage and not known it. I don't want to let you off the hook, because that's not healthy for you. But at the same time, I don't want you blaming yourself if you really weren't pregnant. At the age of your baby that you report, there would have been more than a small dot.

You are expressing the desire for a replacement baby. This is not uncommon. But if all the reasons you decided to have an abortion in the first place still exist, having one would be unwise. You might end up getting another abortion, too.

Your boyfriend's behavior is fairly common. Guys don't usually express what they are feeling, and the pregnancy may not have been real to him to begin with. A lot of guys don't really admit there is a baby until they can see changes in the mother's body, feel movement, or see an ultrasound. Also, it may take him longer to realize how he really feels about it. I know how much it hurts for him to act that way, but this is one situation which often works better shared with other women. I am so glad you came!

Obviously, you violated your own ethical standards. This is going to cause a lot of emotional pain, and you are facing up to what abortion really entails. Please seek reconciliation with God. This will be a tremendous help. A woman can heal emotionally from abortion to a certain extent without this, but in my experience, the ones who truly heal completely are the ones who are reconciled to God. God loves you, and He already paid for what you did. All you have to do is ask Him for forgiveness. And then you will need to work on forgiving yourself. That may very well be hard, but once you are aware of God's forgiveness, keep in mind that you should bring your own thoughts into conformity with His, so that you can remain close to Him. He is the only source of healing.

We'll be praying for you.


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