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Date Posted: 12:47:04 01/30/06 Mon
Kris is right, but I feel a need to add something to what she said.
Forgiveness is a decision. It is the decision to accept the hurt that someone has done to you, and not hold it against them. It is not an act of the emotions.
That said, I agree you should forgive your boyfriend. However, that does NOT mean that you should necessarily "reconcile" with him. What he did to you is cruel. And you have been robbed of something incredibly precious. I would not consider his attitude to bode well for your relationship. When will he do this to you again? So here is what I recommend. Tell him that if he does not agree to counseling, it's all over. Give him a deadline, say, 2 weeks, to give you his decision. Seek counseling at a local crisis pregnancy agency. Regardless of what he does, you should go.
If he refuses to go to counseling, break it off with him. If he comes to you later and asks for your forgiveness, give it freely, but insist he go to counseling. He needs to deal with the attitude that caused him to coerce you into getting an abortion, and if he's not willing to do that, then I think your relationship would be detrimental to you.
Those are just my thoughts. I don't take kindly to men doing this to a woman. I absolutely agree that you must forgive him, but this is not the same thing as continuing to see him.
Another thing I would do is make it clear to him that regardless, you aren't going to make yourself vulnerable to that situation again, so he needs to respect you and not insist on taking you to bed. This won't necessarily hurt your relationship; it could help.
As to whether or not he is hurting, I don't know. He may be in denial. Men don't express their emotions much. So all you can do there is wait and see if he chooses to express himself.
I am offering these thoughts because clearly you are at war with yourself over him.
We will be praying for you.