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Subject: Re: Guilty (I should have decided)


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 09:14:35 02/06/06 Mon
In reply to: Stephanie 's message, "Guilty (I should have decided)" on 23:31:57 02/03/06 Fri

Dear Stephanie,

I am sorry for your loss - and I'm sorry for the guilt and pain you are going through. It's important that you seek out some post-abortion counseling and learn to deal with that - otherwise, it will effect your entire life in ways you won't even realize.

I have many friends that have had abortions - the majority of my girlfriends as a matter of fact, have had an abortion - and I would have to say that I am passionately against them, as I have seen the "train wrecks" an abortion leaves behind. I don't know how it is you can still say you are pro-choice, given the emotions you are trying to deal with in the aftermath. However, I do respect your right to believe so, and that's not really the issue here.

The issue is that you need to find healing - and the sooner you do that the better. There are some excellent web sites to start with - try:

www.safehavenministries.com

or

http://www.healinghearts.org/

Both are religion based, but they will not "force" anything upon you. It's funny to me that the same folks that are abortion proponents will not recognize the help that women need after an abortion..........

Hugs, Kris

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Guilty (I should have decided)


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 14:57:01 02/19/06 Sun

Stephanie,

It sounds to me like your heart is at war with itself. Do you think that if you had been the one to make the decision, the outcome would have been different? You experienced a terrible loss. Regardless of who decides, abortion means that the baby won't ever feel the sun. If abortion is such a good answer, why does it hurt so much?

From what I have seen, the vast majority of women aren't choosing for themselves. Other people are using various kinds of emotional ploys to force them to decide the way THEY want women to decide. But it is the woman who must live with the consequences. It was her body that was invaded, and her loss.

To be truly at peace, a woman must resolve the conflict and guilt in her heart. I have seen how a woman must admit that the decision and the outcome were wrong for her. And please do not abandon other women to the situation you faced! If you can resolve these issues, that will go a long ways toward healing. This is going to require some deep thought and sorting things out. Once you have come to terms with these issues, then please seek to be reconciled to God. He has already paid the price for this. You can reach a certain level of apparent peace over this, but for true healing to take place, it is critical to follow this path and complete it. Then you must forgive yourself. This may be the hardest part. It becomes possible when you know that God has forgiven you. You already know that this decision wasn't right for you. You have violated your own heart and your own standards. Thus, you must be willing to admit this was the wrong decision for you, regardless of who made it. You did not choose this freely. You didn't want it. Your heart said differently. You must come to terms with yourself.

I may have talked about this very fast, but I don't know if I'll get a chance to talk to you again, so I think it is important for me to tell you all of those things. We care deeply about you. We want to see you resolve this and be able to go on with life. It won't be easy, but healing can come. Don't be afraid to pursue this healing wherever it leads you, but whatever you do, take care of yourself. There is no sense in compounding the tragedy, and you are a human being worthy of love. You may not think so right now, but you are.

Hugs,
Pat



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