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Subject: I regret my abortion, can anyone help?


Author:
ML
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Date Posted: 00:41:14 04/14/06 Fri

Hi there..

I have always being a happy and very positive person..one who doesn't like to take life or anything too seriously.
(not even myself)

I'm 32, married with a nice job, house and a nice husband..or i thought?.. that is why i'm finding so difficult to cope

I had an affair(felt unlove and also sex wasn't there) and during that time i felt pregnant.. i was very careful with that guy but stupidity i allowed my husband for one not to use protection while having sex, (on the day before i splitted up from 'my boyfriend' and in a way was hoping for a new beggining..)

I found out later on that i was pregnant..never being pregnant before.. thouse things didn't happen to me.. i was shock but straigh away had this so special wonderful feeling i was going to be a mother..? was i?.. after the first month of keeping quiet(needed to start having proper sex with my husband)started feeling nauseous and was strageling at work..early mornings, carring a trolley with you, going to hotels, feeling so lonely.. feeling PLS SOMEBODY HELP ME.. I called her Honey and that night in that hotel i wrote her a letter.. i cried as i've never cry before it hurted so much but i wasn't going to keep her(i thought it was a girl) i told her i couldn't give her a Daddy as i couldn't give her the started she needed so i couldn't allow her to live.. i told her i loved her and to forget me..

Sorry there is more to the story as u can imagine but the main point here is the regret i have to live with the totally empties and the trauma. I find difficult to enjoy thouse little things in life who make u happy .. i just feel so empty.. i can do anything as feel i shouldn't be doing.. feel i should be pregnant..

I was nearly 2months pregnant i told my husband that the baby could be not his.. and that i was sorry and prepare to work as hard as i could in our new family.. eventhough he seemed to forget me and to agree to it.. a week late as he came from work he told me he wanted me to have an abortion.. i thought if i do it the problem will go and i wouldn't lose him.. now i find out the proble has never gone and i have lost my husband(we r separating)

I have ONLY one regret in life and it's taking thouse pills that day.. it was very painful and for me it didn't work as i had to be back in the Hospital 2weeks later for a proper abotion as they found 'product' still on me

Regrets.. it's little to say.. in a way it felt that baby was going to save my marriage, myself, and i was going to be what without me knowing i always wanted 2b a mother and a proper wife. They grounded me at work and i was going to start this new life.. everything was pink till i allowed doubts and others to take control of my life.

Now there is nothing i can do .. NOTHING.. I have to carry on being a life but that wonderful, carefree girl has gone and i'm so sad so empty so lost

Just wish i had read ur messages b4, just wished i had talked to people before just wishing that that November wouldn't have ever happened.. just wishing i was pregnant with that baby .. ..

If in doubt pls don't do it.. better advice that i can give u... L. xx



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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: I regret my abortion, can anyone help?


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 22:01:37 04/14/06 Fri

Dear ML,

I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Just remember it's important to allow yourself to grieve your loss. I also want to direct you to some other good sites that may be helpful.

http://www.redeemedforlife.com/

http://www.healinghearts.org/index.php

http://www.safehavenministries.com/

I do hope they can give you some more information on dealing with the emotions you are going through.

Hugs,
Kris


[> Subject: Re: I regret my abortion, can anyone help?


Author:
Jo
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Date Posted: 16:47:11 04/17/06 Mon

L,

I am so sorry for your loss.
I had an abortion just over two years ago and it is still at the front of my mind. I don't think it is something that any woman gets over easily; especially if she felt any doubt when she was making her decision.

At the time I became pregnant, I knew what was going to "have to" happen - I felt I had just started out in my career; I was engaged to someone who didn't seem mature enough to be out of his teenage years, and I was still living with my parents - not the best start for a kid, but then we all give ourselves (or are told) those excuses, aren't we?! So I had already prepared myself when I heard my partner's words, "It's just not the right time for us".

I knew he was "right". But it didn't stop the doubt, the pain or the deep regret when I'd returned from hospital.

Afterwards, I went through a period of depression, somehow only visible to my closest family who were very supportive - apart from my partner!
My mother was my rock. To this day I still talk to her about it when I need to and she's sympathetic enough to listen over and over again. I'm very lucky.

But for the pain to still be this raw in my mind after two years on, she and I both know that I need more than a motherly chat and a hug. That is how I came across this site - I was looking for help - discussions, counselling, anything I can think of. Just don't stop here, there is so much help out there.

I hope you find some comfort. I'll be thinking of you.
Jo
xxxx


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