Subject: Re: i think im in love with my best friend but im straight!
Author: l
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] Date Posted:16:16:13 05/02/04 Sun In reply to:
alwan
's message, "Re: i think im in love with my best friend but im straight!" on 06:13:09 02/24/04 Tue
>>I am so confused. I really would appreciate someone
>>talkin to me, cause i cant talk to anyone i personally
>>know about this subject. I am 18 years old, female,
>>and i always assumed i was straight. I was attracted
>>to guys and all that..had bfs and im attracted to
>>them. But i also have a best friend, this girl..she's
>>straight, has had TONS of boyfriends, and the thing is
>>we're VERY VERY CLOSE.like sisters. We're so close
>>that I cant hide anythin from her. But theres one
>>thing she doesnt know, is that im madly in love with
>>her. Or so I think! We talk for hours, spend time
>>together, and everytime shes talking to me i think
>>about kissing her and hugging her and holding her. I
>>want to take away all her pain, when she tells me shes
>>in pain, when her boyfriend hurts her. When she
>>touches me, i feel something tingles, i feel like im
>>holding myself back from touching her. I dont want to
>>ever lose her, shes my only true best friend. ANd i do
>>know that she would freak out if i told her this, she
>>would walk away. shes the type who would just walk
>>away without explaining, because shes afraid of pain
>>and hurting herself and others. we;re so close, that
>>its getting to be really hard to be with her , around
>>her, when i have these feelings. i feel like im lying
>>to her , like im guilty..she keeps telling me that i
>>hide things from her, that im not an open book, i
>>laugh and say ofcourse not. but the subject of
>>lesbians and bis doesnt appeal to her, at times when
>>the subject is brought up when we are with other
>>friends..she says that its disgusting to be attracted
>>to the same sex. When i heard that, it killed, cause i
>>hated myself for being "disgusting" in her eyes. Or if
>>i ever WAS disgusting,if she ever found out. I dont
>>know wat to do, im not even sure if i like her that
>>way..I am straight but shes the only girl ..i mean the
>>only PERSOn..thats ever made me feel this way. It
>>scares me. I dont know wat to do about it..and I dont
>>even know if havin these thoughts and feelings about
>>her means i love her..PLEASE HElP by atleast tellin me
>>wat u think..I really need help..i need ppl who wont
>>judge harshly.
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[> [> [> Subject: Re: i think im in love with my best friend but im straight!
Date Posted:16:50:20 02/27/06 Mon
Hey! i was looking for answers about my life when i saw that you was going through the same thing i am. I am straight but i am in love with my best friend too. but i'm only 15 so.me and her are like sister's we are always hugging and people are starting to think that is wierd. See but if she ever knew i loved her; she would never talk to me b/c she has asked me if i was gay alot of times and i can tell her no cause i aint but i am so in love with her that it drives me insane. I tell her i love her and she tells me she loves me too and that suckes even more cause if she ever knew how much i cared about her. And listen at this one time when we were drinking i stayed the night with her and she was like all over me and saying she loved me and all of this stuff then the next day she acted like she didnt remember.i dont know if that was true but the funny thing is i am friends with her boy friend at the time and i was talking to him on the phone and then she kissed me and thats how this all started.her boyfriend knew it happened and at the time i had a boyfriend.lol then three days later she told me her life was better without me and then me and her boyfriend told her what happened. We stoped being friends for like 2 weeks but i would still text her. I couldnt even eat and i would cry all night. See she tells me she hates gay people but she has alot of friends that are gay and i dont get exactly what is going on with them. Well now we are best friends again. I know if i tell her i really love her that she wont be my friend cuz she said if i was gay she wouldnt be my friend. She gives me so many reasons to think she loves me but i think she is afraid so she hides it. I think even if she loves me that she wouldnt be with me b/c of her family. I am trying so hard to just hold on to our friendship. i mean i knew i was in love with her from the first time i saw her and it freaked me out at first. I am hoping that these feelings will go away but now i know they aint going to so i will hide them from her just so i can be friends with her. i think you should tell her i mean its better than living with it all the time. When i am out of school i will probly tell her the truth. I think she already knows and just dont want to believe it. Now we are both single so and Josh her x boyfriend now is trying to ruin our friendship she broke up with him cuz he would lie to everyone and even told her parents i was gay and they hated me. Thats half the reason she broke up with him. She told me after she broke up with him that she told her family that she would rather have me...as a friend.then to have him as a boyfriend. but what i dont get is its like they are still dating cuz they are always with eachother and fighting, but i am with her most of the time she says he invited himself to hang out with her but i cant ever get time alone with her anymore and she doesnt talk about me spending the night with her again cuz of what happened the last time, i dont think she trusts me. well i guess you are tired of hearing my story but i would like it if you would send me an e-mail so we can help eachother figure out what to do
