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>Dear Pattie, > >The support from you, Lynnie, and Diane makes me tear >up. I am such a sissy now, but still emotionally >strung out. It takes little to put me over the top and >get me to cry. Ginger says when I am used to being a >sissy, I will be calmer, and not as prone to crying. >For now I am still a ball of emotions. Ginger makes me >say how I feel because women are more aware of them >than men. At first I felt stunned and a bit submissive >and a bit sexually excited by how strong Ginger was >with me. When I got over being stunned, I also felt >guilty and angry and rebellious. When my little >rebellion flopped, I felt impotent and out of control. >The pretty panties were so exciting to put on, but >that increased my shame as did asking if I could >please wear a darling house dress. You can't fight and >say you are really a man when you have put on >raspberry lace panties and a asked to be allowed to >wear a floral house dress. I know I was a sissy, and >my heart was racing. I was scared as I did not know >what would happen to me. I was also scared of going >out. I feel so submissive. I have no will of my own. I >feel dependent on Ginger and scared to disobey her. > >Learning that I am really a sissy is kind of a relief. >At first I thought a man does not belong in womens >clothes, but now I know that I dress the way a sissy >is supposed to dress. I should be in skirts and >panties, satin and lace. I am a sissy and that is how >sissies dress. Still it is very embarrassing. > >I also wonder how Ginger knew that I was a sissy and >should be dressed as one when I did not know it >myself. It makes me feel that she is much smarter than >me, which I never wanted to admit before. I also know >that she is much stronger than me, and was only >humoring me when she said what a he-man I was. It must >have been like telling a child that of course he is >Superman just to make him happy. I do feel like a >child, like a little girl with her. It is embarrassing >to think what an idiot I was thinking I was in charge >and Ginger was somehow below me. > >Other news: Ginger got me an "Amazing Adhesive Bra" >from Walmart to wear. It is self-adhesive.I look like >I have A-cup breasts in it. Ginger pressed me on >breast forms and I decided B-cup would be best and she >has ordered some prostheses that are made for my size >chest. > >She also made me admit that I liked pretty panties >much more than the Hanes, so I was taken lingerie >shopping and now have enough satin and lace panties to >wear all week, as well as camisoles. I wore my Amazing >Adhesive Bra and I am sure that I could still be read >as a man, but I noticed that I was not as embarrassed >lingerie shopping as I thought I might be. It does >help to know I am a sissy and belong in women's >things. I was also made to pick out a cocktail dress >and 3" heels to wear when I go to my mom's card party, >as well as a dress for church. I tried then all on in >the store with no problems, other then knowing smiles >from the sales ladies. My walk and mannerisms are >getting better. My voice still needs lots of work. > >Yes, Ginger decided that it is time for me to wear a >dress to Mass, but we will be going to a different >parish for now. I have a hair/make over appointment >today with Ginger's stylist. I am to have my eyebrows >shaped and my nails done as well as having my hair >done. Ginger has put cash in my purse to pay for it >all. I have a compact, lipstick, some tampons (for >show I hope), a new orchid color cell phone, mascara, >womens wallet and Kleenex in my purse and I am not to >leave the house without it. Tomorrow we are going to >have a consultation and buy my own make up -- make up >that is best for my coloring. > >Ginger also gave me a necklace and bracelet set. She >did it with love and the compliment that I was >beginning to look beautiful and she was proud of me. I >glowed inside. I know how women feel now when they get >jewelry with love and feel that their spouse loves >them so much. Ginger is getting to be sweeter to me >the more sissy I become. So one more feeling in my >catalog is that I feel less stressed in my marriage >and more loved and appreciated. I know all the things >I should have done when I was the husband and not the >wife -- things that would have made Ginger feel >special as I feel when she does them for me. > >It is funny, I still like sex, but now I think it is >not as important as feeling loved and special. I want >to look beautiful for Ginger and make her proud of me. >I am looking for ways to look more beautiful and >stylish, and have started looking at womens magazines >for ideas on style, hair and make up. I never in my >wildest dreams thought I would want to read on. Now I >find them so interesting. I am also looking in the >mirror and want to be a size 12 so I can wear the >things I see. > >When we were out shopping last time I was looking at >what the women were wearing and was absolutely catty a >couple of times thinking how sloppy a couple were and >how I looked ever so much prettier than they did. Then >there were others that looked fabulous, and I wondered >if I could ever look as good. > >Ginger's wife, >Carla Sue

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