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Date Posted: 08:51:41 05/04/04 Tue
Author: Poule
Subject: sounds like you've done all that you can. It isnt your fault. Have you tried blocking their emails?
In reply to: Bry 's message, "*more* I shouldn’t post this. An Epic titled: What A MESS!! Please kill me now. Thank the Gods I used my better judgement and didn’t get ‘romantic’ with the boy.. what have I gotten myself into you must **click**" on 01:13:35 05/01/04 Sat

>Stupid thing is we haven’t even kissed! We’ve seen
>each other 5 times. Twice for lunch at McD’s, we went
>to the mall once and twice I went over and we watched
>a dvd. We had talked on the phone maybe 8 times.
>Everything else has been email or im (countless emails
>and ims, that’s how she found out). Not even dirty
>ones! Ok, slightly naughty but it wasn’t like cybersex
>or anything. He’s terribly funny, smart (and quite
>cute). He’s a really sweet kid.
>
>I know why she’s so angry. She didn’t know he had
>these feelings. She feels hurt angry and betrayed. It
>isn’t like I’m some pervert that was surfing the web
>for teenage boys to convert. I found a site on the net
>that played cool music. Local guy, we got on well via
>im and email. Age never came up until I met him the
>first time. Since then it’s been more of a friend
>thing like.. My best friend’s younger brother is gay
>too? Ok, he’s cool. No shagging. (Does that make
>sense?) **sigh** All of this drama could have been
>avoided if he had told me but I can’t be mad at him. I
>would have told him to talk with her. He could have
>started off with things like ‘You think he’s cute?’
>and maybe work his way into ‘He’s got a nice ass’ or
>something like that to get things started. He could
>have introduced us to each other. He’s 19 for gods
>sake. Errr.. he’s not ‘out’. He’s not sure if he’s
>straight bi or gay doesn’t know what he wants from
>life. He says he was afraid to tell me. He likes me
>and didn’t know what to do. He was afraid to tell her
>about those ‘feelings’ because he loves her. He’s
>worried what his family might think.
>
>I talked to him on the phone earlier today. He’s an
>emotional wreck. Every time he calls she hangs up on
>him but she keeps calling him and screaming in his
>ear. I suggested he say something like ‘I’m sorry, we
>need to talk but not like this.’ politely and hang up.
>Try talking to her by email.
>
>I’m glad she didn’t find my phone number. I have
>gotten a few semi-civil semi-coherent emails from her.
>Most of them are rather venomous though. When coherent
>she’s nice. I explained how we met, that he was afraid
>to tell her he likes guys. Nothing happened. We’re
>just friends. He’s too young for me. Talk to him, he
>loves you. He’s very upset. And she’s OK. Then she has
>time to think about it and goes ballistic again. I
>don’t blame her. A 19 year old girl finds out her
>boyfriend of 3 years thinks he’s bi. She thinks he’s
>cheating with a 36 year old guy. I never thought about
>it before but that reaction is what I would expect.
>
>I can’t just bail out on them. I gotta try to fix this
>shit somehow. Sorry, I had to let it out. My best
>friend is being supportive but she can’t deal with it.
>I did give you something to read though! Now if I can
>only get them to talk nice. Someone pass me the vodka
>please.

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Replies:

[> [> [> Actually I don't think it IS your responsibility to fix it. More theirs to "live & learn",as it were.You've been pretty circumspect,and obviously he's interested and exploring.Doubt that curiosity is going away just 'cause he(or she)will it to...and 19 is -- an age when hardly anyone has figured themselves out completely...Gaby, 09:22:16 05/04/04 Tue

>Stupid thing is we haven't even kissed! We've seen
>each other 5 times. Twice for lunch at McD's, we went
>to the mall once and twice I went over and we watched
>a dvd. We had talked on the phone maybe 8 times.
>Everything else has been email or im (countless emails
>and ims, that's how she found out). Not even dirty
>ones! Ok, slightly naughty but it wasn't like cybersex
>or anything. He's terribly funny, smart (and quite
>cute). He's a really sweet kid.
>
>I know why she's so angry. She didn't know he had
>these feelings. She feels hurt angry and betrayed. It
>isn't like I'm some pervert that was surfing the web
>for teenage boys to convert. I found a site on the net
>that played cool music. Local guy, we got on well via
>im and email. Age never came up until I met him the
>first time. Since then it's been more of a friend
>thing like.. My best friend's younger brother is gay
>too? Ok, he's cool. No shagging. (Does that make
>sense?) **sigh** All of this drama could have been
>avoided if he had told me but I can't be mad at him. I
>would have told him to talk with her. He could have
>started off with things like `You think he's cute?'
>and maybe work his way into `He's got a nice ass' or
>something like that to get things started. He could
>have introduced us to each other. He's 19 for gods
>sake. Errr.. he's not `out'. He's not sure if he's
>straight bi or gay doesn't know what he wants from
>life. He says he was afraid to tell me. He likes me
>and didn't know what to do. He was afraid to tell her
>about those `feelings' because he loves her. He's
>worried what his family might think.
>
>I talked to him on the phone earlier today. He's an
>emotional wreck. Every time he calls she hangs up on
>him but she keeps calling him and screaming in his
>ear. I suggested he say something like `I'm sorry, we
>need to talk but not like this.' politely and hang up.
>Try talking to her by email.
>
>I'm glad she didn't find my phone number. I have
>gotten a few semi-civil semi-coherent emails from her.
>Most of them are rather venomous though. When coherent
>she's nice. I explained how we met, that he was afraid
>to tell her he likes guys. Nothing happened. We're
>just friends. He's too young for me. Talk to him, he
>loves you. He's very upset. And she's OK. Then she has
>time to think about it and goes ballistic again. I
>don't blame her. A 19 year old girl finds out her
>boyfriend of 3 years thinks he's bi. She thinks he's
>cheating with a 36 year old guy. I never thought about
>it before but that reaction is what I would expect.
>
>I can't just bail out on them. I gotta try to fix this
>shit somehow. Sorry, I had to let it out. My best
>friend is being supportive but she can't deal with it.
>I did give you something to read though! Now if I can
>only get them to talk nice. Someone pass me the vodka
>please.

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