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Date Posted: 22:20:54 03/03/04 Wed
Author: Papa
Subject: Posting Peter Kay jokes on an Izzard site. Just goes to prove Kay is better!
In reply to: Alison 's message, "Filling up the board. Because I can." on 21:52:55 03/03/04 Wed

>
>1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
>
>2) At the end of every party there is always a girl
>crying.
>
>3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a
>pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets
>synchronised with a complete stranger.
>
>4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat
>green crisps.
>
>5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
>digits 55378008 into a calculator.
>
>6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>
>7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
>really manly.
>
>8)You're never quite sure whether it's against the law
>or not to have a fire in your back garden.
>
>10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>
>11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
>
>12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
>
>13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
>
>14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn
>up a bouncy ball.
>
>15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
>
>16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into
>your school.
>
>17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
>schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
>
>18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it
>would kill you at the first given opportunity.
>
>19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>
>20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee,
>flushed half way through and then raced against the
>flush.
>
>21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
>
>22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
>Frisbee.
>
>23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>
>24) You never ever run out of salt.
>
>25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>
>26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>
>27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
>feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in
>something.
>
>28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
>hangers.
>
>29) Despite constant warning, you have never met
>anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
>
>30) The most painful household incident is wearing
>socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
>
>31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
>
>32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside
>a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>
>33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
>nose.
>
>34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>
>35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
>
>36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom
>is not putting it in a fruit salad

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Replies:

[> [> You won't get any argument from me! -- Alison, 23:24:21 03/03/04 Wed

>>
>>1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square
>ones.
>>
>>2) At the end of every party there is always a girl
>>crying.
>>
>>3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a
>>pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets
>>synchronised with a complete stranger.
>>
>>4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat
>>green crisps.
>>
>>5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
>>digits 55378008 into a calculator.
>>
>>6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>>
>>7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
>>really manly.
>>
>>8)You're never quite sure whether it's against the law
>>or not to have a fire in your back garden.
>>
>>10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>>
>>11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
>>
>>12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
>>
>>13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
>>
>>14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn
>>up a bouncy ball.
>>
>>15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
>>
>>16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into
>>your school.
>>
>>17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
>>schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
>>
>>18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it
>>would kill you at the first given opportunity.
>>
>>19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>>
>>20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee,
>>flushed half way through and then raced against the
>>flush.
>>
>>21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
>>
>>22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
>>Frisbee.
>>
>>23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>>
>>24) You never ever run out of salt.
>>
>>25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>>
>>26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>>
>>27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
>>feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in
>>something.
>>
>>28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
>>hangers.
>>
>>29) Despite constant warning, you have never met
>>anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
>>
>>30) The most painful household incident is wearing
>>socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
>>
>>31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
>>
>>32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside
>>a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>>
>>33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
>>nose.
>>
>>34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>>
>>35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
>>
>>36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom
>>is not putting it in a fruit salad

[Edit]
[> [> [> By the way, I wasn't pretending these were original. Just practising my copy and paste skills. But I'll go now. -- Alison, getting her coat, 09:01:00 03/04/04 Thu

>>>
>>>1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square
>>ones.
>>>
>>>2) At the end of every party there is always a girl
>>>crying.
>>>
>>>3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in
>a
>>>pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets
>>>synchronised with a complete stranger.
>>>
>>>4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat
>>>green crisps.
>>>
>>>5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
>>>digits 55378008 into a calculator.
>>>
>>>6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>>>
>>>7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
>>>really manly.
>>>
>>>8)You're never quite sure whether it's against the
>law
>>>or not to have a fire in your back garden.
>>>
>>>10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>>>
>>>11) You never know where to look when eating a
>banana.
>>>
>>>12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet
>cat.
>>>
>>>13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel
>manly.
>>>
>>>14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn
>>>up a bouncy ball.
>>>
>>>15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking
>horses.
>>>
>>>16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into
>>>your school.
>>>
>>>17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
>>>schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
>>>
>>>18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it
>>>would kill you at the first given opportunity.
>>>
>>>19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>>>
>>>20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee,
>>>flushed half way through and then raced against the
>>>flush.
>>>
>>>21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
>>>
>>>22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
>>>Frisbee.
>>>
>>>23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>>>
>>>24) You never ever run out of salt.
>>>
>>>25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>>>
>>>26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>>>
>>>27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
>>>feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in
>>>something.
>>>
>>>28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
>>>hangers.
>>>
>>>29) Despite constant warning, you have never met
>>>anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
>>>
>>>30) The most painful household incident is wearing
>>>socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
>>>
>>>31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
>>>
>>>32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside
>>>a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>>>
>>>33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
>>>nose.
>>>
>>>34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>>>
>>>35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
>>>
>>>36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom
>>>is not putting it in a fruit salad

[Edit]

[> [> [> [> Don't let the door hit you in the arse on your way out. -- Bry... just kidding, I liked 'em, 00:32:16 03/05/04 Fri

>>>>
>>>>1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square
>>>ones.
>>>>
>>>>2) At the end of every party there is always a girl
>>>>crying.
>>>>
>>>>3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in
>>a
>>>>pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets
>>>>synchronised with a complete stranger.
>>>>
>>>>4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat
>>>>green crisps.
>>>>
>>>>5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
>>>>digits 55378008 into a calculator.
>>>>
>>>>6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>>>>
>>>>7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
>>>>really manly.
>>>>
>>>>8)You're never quite sure whether it's against the
>>law
>>>>or not to have a fire in your back garden.
>>>>
>>>>10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>>>>
>>>>11) You never know where to look when eating a
>>banana.
>>>>
>>>>12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet
>>cat.
>>>>
>>>>13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel
>>manly.
>>>>
>>>>14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always
>turn
>>>>up a bouncy ball.
>>>>
>>>>15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking
>>horses.
>>>>
>>>>16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into
>>>>your school.
>>>>
>>>>17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
>>>>schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
>>>>
>>>>18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it
>>>>would kill you at the first given opportunity.
>>>>
>>>>19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>>>>
>>>>20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a
>pee,
>>>>flushed half way through and then raced against the
>>>>flush.
>>>>
>>>>21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
>>>>
>>>>22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
>>>>Frisbee.
>>>>
>>>>23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>>>>
>>>>24) You never ever run out of salt.
>>>>
>>>>25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>>>>
>>>>26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>>>>
>>>>27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
>>>>feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in
>>>>something.
>>>>
>>>>28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
>>>>hangers.
>>>>
>>>>29) Despite constant warning, you have never met
>>>>anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
>>>>
>>>>30) The most painful household incident is wearing
>>>>socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
>>>>
>>>>31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
>>>>
>>>>32) You've turned into your dad the day you put
>aside
>>>>a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint
>with.
>>>>
>>>>33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
>>>>nose.
>>>>
>>>>34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>>>>
>>>>35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
>>>>
>>>>36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom
>>>>is not putting it in a fruit salad

[Edit]

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