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>>Hi my name is chris i'm 20 it all started last year >>when i fell in love with my stepsister yeah i know >>sick and she is 14 even sicker and for these feeling i >>hate myself and when i told her she didn't feel the >>same but i dont blame her, thats when i first started >>to self harm but eventually the feelings went and i >>stoped but it was hard. >> >>But now the feelings have come back so i started to >>self harm again i'm just a stupid fuck up and in life >>i fuck everything up and i think i'll always be a >>total FUCK UP my life is shit and i hate it. there is >>many other problems in my life but not enough time to >>write it all down maybe someother time. > > >My names Loz, i selfharmed about 3 years ago, caused >through a lot thats gone on in my life, all my adult >life really, I don`t no what started it at that time, >but I was under a lot of stress, I picked up a needle >& started scratching at my arms, the scary thing was, >the state of my mind at the time, was that when I >scratched myself I didn`t feel pain, only the pain >inside that was being released with each stoke of the >needle, when id stopped the pain in my head got worse, >then remorse, then regret, but I couldn`t stop, its >all started again & its taking over me, I can`t handle >any stressful situations, big or small,I get vocies in >my head telling me im a bad person & I need punishing, >also to release the pain within, im scared, I need >help, all I think at the moment is to get pain out my >head is to release it through the scrathing of my >arms, im going mad, don`t know what to do, is there >someone who can help me understand whats happening to >me, From Loz..

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