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Wednesday, May 22, 12:33:49pm

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Date Posted: 13:55:49 06/02/12 Sat
Author: Stephanie M
Subject: In here>>
In reply to: Stephanie M 's message, "Need some advice.. (in first reply, going long)" on 13:54:40 06/02/12 Sat

Last year I signed DD#2 up for girl scouts. DD is homeschooled, so I just had her put in the nearest Daisy Troop. She has had a great time and made many friends. At the end of the school year last year the leader and co-leader announced they were splitting off because the co-leader wanted to have a troop that met in the evenings because our troop was meeting right away after school and were done by 5 p.m. I personally liked the afterschool time slot, so I opted to stay with the original leader – plus the co-leader’s kid was a snot.
Last summer, just before the current school year started, we were informed by the leader that she had moved and had a new job at the south end of town. She could not be at the school in time to collect the girls, so she asked if someone else could be there at the school to receive the girls until she could get there? I could not do it because that is when I have to pick up DD#1 from the bus stop and neither could anyone else. So because of this we lost our great meeting room at the middle school next door. We instead had to meet in the teacher’s lounge at the elementary school, which was very cramped. Also, since our leader insisted (I have no idea why) that we keep our Wednesday meeting time, we had to share the room with another troop and could only use it every other week. This really threw off our troop and eventually the leader decided that we should meet at the clubhouse in her apartment complex from 6:15 pm to 7:15 pm (bye,bye, nice early time slot). Since the leader moved, her kids were now attending a completely different school than the other girls in the troop. All of us, but the leader live in the north part of town and have had to commute to where the leader lives in the south part in order to attend meetings in her apartment complex. Another reason for this move is that the leader’s finances are so messed up that she and her husband no longer have any working vehicles and have to take cabs wherever they go. Shortly after this move, the leader’s new co-leader broke off with the troop along with a bunch of other girls. For the past 6 months, there has been a core of 4 girls left that have stuck with this leader and her two daughters. I think we were all being patient in the hope that she could get her personal financial act together, so she could move back north and we could base the troop at the nearby school again. Well, a couple weeks ago we were told that we could no longer use the clubhouse for our meetings, so we have been meeting outside under the picnic pavilion near the clubhouse. I approached the leader in order to ask her if she had any ideas for a better location and she informed me that our troop is now assigned to the elementary school that her daughters attend and we would be getting a new batch of girls next year from that school. We would also be meeting at that school starting next year. Gah! This school is in another city and not a good one. I am not sure that I want my daughter involved with this rougher crowd. Also, I completed some leader training and she has made me her co-leader officially. I didn’t fully agree to it. I was taking the courses to accompany the other mom in our troop that wanted to be co-leader. (That way we could take the courses in our city, because if it was just her then she would have to drive over an hour away to take the class.) It ended up that she got seriously ill for the last course and didn’t get signed off on it, which made me the only candidate.
I am seriously considering pulling DD out of scouts or possibly finding her a different troop, but I feel guilty about leaving the leader in the lurch. Originally, I really wanted a troop close to home, so that I didn’t have to drive so far for meetings. Girls Scouts is pretty expensive enough without adding additional gas dollars. Also, I am not interested in her making friends with the kids at the school we are now assigned to for next year. I am also having big doubts about sticking with this leader that has her personal life so screwed up financially. I just don’t see her as a good role model. I was having a conversation with her about her finances (they are bad), and her crummy apartment complex. A while ago her husband called the cops on a neighbor who was beating his girlfriend on the front lawn and had struck her toddler. As reward for his efforts to protect her, she slashed the tire on their car that they can’t use because they can’t even afford to renew the tags. I was trying to talk her into moving to the north part of town again, but she wants to move to another complex down the street that she thinks will be better (while her kids beg to go back to their old school). She actually used the excuse that we are now locked into the troop in the neighboring city, so that would not work out well for her. I am sitting there thinking WTH!!! You are putting the troop over the welfare of your family!! I simply do not get it. I think her priorities are screwed up big time! Also, I have had to watch her kids recently because she started a new job as a store manager for Taco Bell and she didn’t have anyone to watch them. I have had to drive her and her girls home a few times from Girl Scout events because otherwise she would have to call a cab. I just feel like she is becoming a drain on me.
So do you think I should pull DD out of the troop at the end of this school year? Or do you think I should stick it out until she can get a new co-leader? I just don’t think staying permanently is a workable option.

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Replies:

[> [> As a German I don't really know anything about that girl scout stuff, but.... I counted at least 3 (!!!) major problems you described concerning the whole topic (distance, unqualified leader, rough kids around) and you still want to stick to it??? What do you ( or your DD) gain from it all, that could weigh out all that trouble you mentioned?? -- Oatcake, 14:09:41 06/02/12 Sat


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