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Date Posted: 09:08:15 06/15/12 Fri
Author: Lemora
Subject: Yes, the wise Lally-advice is excellent. Do whatever you have to do for Facebook blockages/privacy. Of course, not knowing you, your brother, or SIL, I can only speculate >>>>>
In reply to: LisaW 's message, "The advice and help the others have given you is spot on. I will keep you in my prayers as you go through this very difficult time. Remember his girls, they really need you now, this may be very confusing and hard for them in a way they cannot express. You could tell them all the wonderful stories you have of your brother, so they know what a wonderful man he was." on 08:22:22 06/15/12 Fri

and she may very well have been having an affair with her current flame while her husband was alive. However, regardless of the state of their marriage and her feelings about your brother, she's in shock right now and not thinking clearly. "Big Mike" is gone, and she's found an "Eddie Fisher." Unconsciously, she may be trying to erase the fact of her marriage, her husband's death, and go on with life, as if that all never happened. To avoid facing grief and loss. It may take time for her to do this or maybe she never will. I don't know her character or the contents and tone of the Facebook posts, so I may be completely wide of the mark here. When dealing with family members who I find repellent, but where it is necessary to have some contact (as in your case) I try to keep it "light and polite." Another guideline for behavior in these situations is "Show up, suit up, and shut up." (This is hard for me, as I have a big mouth, tend to shoot from the hip, and frequently go for the sarcastic conversation stopper.) Another maxim is the hardest one of all to take to heart, but it has helped me: Q-TIP, i.e. Quit Taking It Personally. I have saved myself a lot of grief by silently saying, "Q-TIP!" to myself before I open my mouth. Good luck to you and you're in my prayers.

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Replies:

[> [> [> Lemora, thank you so much for this tip!! I will be using it quite a lot from now on! -- Carrie R, 07:21:15 06/16/12 Sat


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