Here is my $.02.>>> -- The Kirk

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Date Posted: 19:31:05 06/22/12 Fri
Author: Stephanie M
Subject: Here is my $.02.>>>
In reply to: JenK 's message, "no hope" on 08:44:21 06/22/12 Fri

Get. rid. of. the. house. Short sale it. Call a realtor and just do it. It is a losing battle at this point. Many people that I am close to have had to do it too. You didn't fail - the economy did. We are one paycheck away from that happening to us as well. As for work, are there any job opportunities at your kids school? I have known mom's with no training to get jobs at the cafeteria, office, or in the daycare as a substitute. You could work retail. If you can't drive for babysitting, only take kids that are not in school and their parents drop them off and pick them up. My oldest was in a home daycare where the care provider had no transportation. I think you are stuck in a rut. I think you want things to be one way, but life is handing you something else.

I found some good quotes for you: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” or "You can’t make significant changes just working harder. You’ve got to work smarter. Maybe just different. But you can’t keep doing the same things and expect to get different results. That is, by definition, INSANE!" Hugs to you, Jen! I know things suck the big fat smelly warty toe right now, but don't lose hope!!! We are all rooting for you!!

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[> [> Inside please Stephanie M.>> -- JenK, 20:51:13 06/22/12 Fri

Thank you Stephanie for the quotes. We've considered short sale, but it really isn't as easy as people think. We will not be eligible for at least 2 years to get another home. It is a last resort. We also need to be behind on our mortgage before they'll consider it and we still need someone to buy it, which doesn't always happen. I can't work the hours retail needs. My Dh gets home later in the evening so I'd need a sitter after hours which costs extra money. I can't babysit because I can't pick my daughter up from school. She doesn't have bus service. I can't leave the kids I'd watch at home while I drive up to the school and sit and wait for 40 minutes in the pick up line. I've considered jobs where I don't need training but they don't pay very much and I still have a child who is not preschool age. What I'd make would not or would only barely cover child care expenses. I can't justify a job that doesn't help pay the bills, which is what we need. I'm not leaving my kids with someone else to work enough to pay a sitter and have nothing left to pay bills. I'd still be in the same boat. I appreciate the advice, but I truly have looked into all of this. I'm not complaining to complain. I'm complaining because it's hopeless because every idea I have to try to help my family isn't possible or gets shot down when I try to do it. I understand I'm in a rut, but it's not a rut because I want more it's a rut because life keeps handing me lemons and there isn't any tequila. Nothing is going right. I'd get out of the rut and be happy with my life if we could afford our mortgage and still be able to buy groceries. I'd be happy if I could be home with my kids or have a decent paying job that allows me to cover child care costs and pay some bills so everything doesn't fall on my DH. I'm sorry. I know I sound bitchy but part of why I was upset earlier is because I can't find a good solution. Things need to change for me to be able to move forward. They aren't changing. THat's why I feel hopeless. I have tried different things but they aren't working. While I appreciate advice, I'm not sitting on my butt waiting for life to be perfect, I'm trying to find something that works for my family and there just isn't anything. I'm not doing the same thing, I'm trying to get different results by doing things different but I'm still getting the same results no matter what. I'm sorry. This has just really made things worse. It seems like you are saying Im not trying or I'm just bitching. I appreciate the rooting for me but I just need hugs and prayers that things get better or one of the times i do something different I get a new result and not the same one.

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[> [> [> Jen come in>>> -- Stephanie M, 09:42:41 06/23/12 Sat

I am sorry that you thought I thought you weren't trying, because I didn't think that. I have been here through all your troubles hoping for things to get better for you, but from what I read of your posts I feel like you are beating your head against a wall and getting nowhere. I am bummed that none of my suggestions are helpful, but there has to be something you can do.

What about going to garage and estate sales and finding good stuff to resell on E-Bay? A lot of people sell stuff cheap at garage sales since they do not have the time to be bothered with putting it up for auction and shipping it. My cousin just had a garage sale and was selling Ralph Lauren, Ambercrombie, Gap clothes for a $1 each and I know that if she ironed them and sold them on e-bay she would have gotten much more for them. Some of the jeans and stuff looked brand new.

I know that would mean putting out money on your end that you don't have, but is there something of your own that you truly don't need that you could sell and use as starter money?

You said you could fit one more kid in your car, so then babysit just one kid. I spent over $4000 in a year to have a woman watch my daughter ten years ago - surely the going rate has increased since then. That would help a little with grocery money.

Another idea would be to work the night shift (when DH is definitely home) stocking shelves somewhere. It wouldn't be pretty with your health issues and keeping up with the little one when you got home, but there are many people that have had to do this sort of thing.

I am not saying any of this to discourage, bash or belittle you, I really want to help and see things improve for you. I didn't think of your post as complaining or bitching, but as a cry for help. And again I am sorry if I am too harsh in any of my posts. I think my frustration for your situation is spilling over in my posts - not frustration with you, but your situation. ((((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))

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