I only wish that I had found this recommendation a year ago. My mom was diagnosed with a slow moving dementia, but had a fall, and then overnight she went from living on her own, to being late stage dementia. We lost her overnight to this disease. We were never able to say goodbye to her, and thought we would have time with her before the devastation set in. Right after her fall, she never knew who we were, where she was, or even who she was. Immediately after the fall she became total care in a nursing care facility. I wish we would have had the time to say what we needed to when we still could have reached her. Now we go every day to the nursing home to feed her, but she doesnt know us. This book will be extremely painful. I would like your opinion = Do you think it will help us at this point? -- LOL Reading Recommendation Board

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Date Posted: 11:06:01 11/10/09 Tue
Author: Irene
Subject: I only wish that I had found this recommendation a year ago. My mom was diagnosed with a slow moving dementia, but had a fall, and then overnight she went from living on her own, to being late stage dementia. We lost her overnight to this disease. We were never able to say goodbye to her, and thought we would have time with her before the devastation set in. Right after her fall, she never knew who we were, where she was, or even who she was. Immediately after the fall she became total care in a nursing care facility. I wish we would have had the time to say what we needed to when we still could have reached her. Now we go every day to the nursing home to feed her, but she doesnt know us. This book will be extremely painful. I would like your opinion = Do you think it will help us at this point?
In reply to: MaryJ 's message, "Still Alice by Lisa Genova" on 10:55:30 11/09/09 Mon

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Replies:

Oh, Irene, I'm so sorry about your mom. Went long... -- MaryJ, 09:31:10 11/11/09 Wed
- PS Irene... -- MaryJ, 12:49:52 11/11/09 Wed
  - Thank you both for responding. It is very hard, and has changed my siblings and my world entirely, Working full time and being with mom every day at lunchtime for a few hours is proving to wear me down. I had to see a mental health professional as well for stress. I feel that we have already lost her, lost her on that day of her fall, and we have already started the grieving process, but cant follow through with the stages of grief, because she is still here. She would so hate this. She was always moving, always helping people and energetic. Now her whole world is her geri-chair and her bed. What a terrible existence. (NT) -- Irene, 09:17:14 11/13/09 Fri
    - This is the most eloquent way of putting the caregiver emotional limbo I've yet heard: Grieving, but unable to move through the process because the person is here, but not here. I find it has also affected my ability to process my mother's death of a year ago. I'm totally stuck in neutral. I've just accepted that this is how life is right now. (NT) -- Lemora, 15:21:53 11/14/09 Sat
MaryJ and Irene>>> -- Lemora, 13:33:48 11/11/09 Wed
- Lemora... -- MaryJ, 14:16:20 11/11/09 Wed

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