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Date Posted: 08:11:28 09/13/10 Mon
Author: Lady Cate
Subject: Life Truths

-Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

-If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
-The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

-It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

-Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

-Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

-If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of student loan payments.

-Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

-Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

-There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

-If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

-If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

-The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

-A closed mouth gathers no foot.

-Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

-Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

-Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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