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Date Posted: 04:37:31 03/30/07 Fri
Author: Lady Cate (The Chocolate Queen)
Subject: How to install a home security system

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's work boots, size 16.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,
Big Jim, Duke, Wild Bill, and I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was kind of hard to tell from all the blood. I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Later,
Billy Bob

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