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Date Posted: 13:55:59 07/28/06 Fri
Author: Mairghread
Subject: Midlife

Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

Midlife women no longer have upper arms; we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

Midlife has hit when you stand naked in front of the mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.

Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat!

Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.

The good news about midlife is the glass is still half-full.

Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.

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