Date Posted:10:05:55 11/19/10 Fri Author: Page2 Subject: Thank you...you are so sweet...>>> In reply to:
Fi
's message, "Re: A little something from Chapter 2...>>>" on 08:58:50 11/19/10 Fri
>You've done a great job of getting into James' state
>of mind and the screwed-up-ness of his life. Flaws
>make the character, as I've said before :) Seren comes
>across like a parent or a frustrated spouse; that's
>not a bad thing, if you meant him to be like that. I'm
>definitely wondering what happens next.
>
Hi Fi,
Thank you for the crit. I posted it as a rough draft, flaws and all. I didn't catch that Seren said listen to me repetitively in that one paragraph (3x). Clean-up in Chapter 2 - LOL.
Seren is a bit like a parent when it comes to James. I think that's why they argue alot. :-)
Big John is described (I think - hmm will have to go look now).
Overall, I'm just looking to find out if the story gels. I am not editing at this point. Just trying to get it out. I can add/delete/re-write/fluff/pad it up down the road. I will save these notations for when I reach that stage because you are spot-on.
Sometimes I feel like I am rushing the story to fast due to NaNo count, but I figure at the end when I'm reading I'll know what needs to be beefed up and fixed.
Thanks again Fi. Much appreciated. I'm sure I'll be posting again soon.
