Good idea, Esther, and good excerpt -- Ladies of Lallybroch Literary Forum

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Date Posted: 18:19:02 06/20/09 Sat
Author: Debi
Subject: Good idea, Esther, and good excerpt
In reply to: Esther 's message, "Okay...Larn threw down the gauntlet, so...>>>" on 16:50:05 06/20/09 Sat

>How about as well as typing 'I'm in' we pick a day of
>the week that works in our schedule, and then on each
>self designated day, post a quick update on our
>progress, our triumphs and frustrations, and post say
>the last 500 words we wrote for the week.

Most excellent idea!

You introduction is interesting, making the reader consider denial for its good and bad aspects. Though, in her case, the denial will kill her soon, if she didn't take matters into her own hands, literally. But isn't that what a lot of abused women think? "If I don't help him/stay with him/take care of him, who will?"

And in the man's case, he is mourning for someone lost, right? The woman he loves, if I recall correctly. It's a little unclear if he's disciplining himself to gain understanding or if he's bent on suicide too. Or maybe he wasn't in the beginning, but it seems his only way to see her again? Grief makes people do strange things sometimes.

A short crit, I'm sorry, and not much of one to boot, but my headache is coming back. Or maybe I need to eat...

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[> [> [> Thanks Debi! >>> -- Esther, 13:24:28 06/27/09 Sat

>>How about as well as typing 'I'm in' we pick a day of
>>the week that works in our schedule, and then on each
>>self designated day, post a quick update on our
>>progress, our triumphs and frustrations, and post say
>>the last 500 words we wrote for the week.
>
>Most excellent idea!
>
>You introduction is interesting, making the reader
>consider denial for its good and bad aspects. Though,
>in her case, the denial will kill her soon, if she
>didn't take matters into her own hands, literally. But
>isn't that what a lot of abused women think? "If I
>don't help him/stay with him/take care of him, who
>will?"

Interesting is always good! *G* Denial is one of those themes I'm trying to incorporate throughout this story. And since this is about a woman who eventually ends up confronting her fears, eventually she'll stop living in the Land of Denial. Or so I hope! *G* But for now this take is okay, but I was going for the denial to be one of he said he was sorry, he loves me and it won't happen again, kinda things which of course it does. It's not so much the looking after him if she leaves, it's the fear of what he'll do to her and the children if she does. Rational emotions don't have no place in her decisions at this point.
>
>And in the man's case, he is mourning for someone
>lost, right? The woman he loves, if I recall
>correctly. It's a little unclear if he's disciplining
>himself to gain understanding or if he's bent on
>suicide too. Or maybe he wasn't in the beginning, but
>it seems his only way to see her again? Grief makes
>people do strange things sometimes.

Good memory! Yup! He lost the woman he loves and is just waiting for his time to end so they can be together again. And he wasn't really trying to commit suicide, his actions were more those of a desperate man. And prolly if I had posted to the end that would have been more clear. Hmmmm. I might just do that since I could justify another posting of homework. *G*
>
>A short crit, I'm sorry, and not much of one to boot,
>but my headache is coming back. Or maybe I need to
>eat...

Well, I hope your headache is gone and didn't last too long! And I an thankful for any comments, and honestly didn't expect a crit of any sort, since this is a homework and not critted per se anyway. Now back to the ol' drawing board. *G*

Hugs

Esther

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>>How about as well as typing 'I'm in' we pick a day of >>the week that works in our schedule, and then on each >>self designated day, post a quick update on our >>progress, our triumphs and frustrations, and post say >>the last 500 words we wrote for the week. > >Most excellent idea! > >You introduction is interesting, making the reader >consider denial for its good and bad aspects. Though, >in her case, the denial will kill her soon, if she >didn't take matters into her own hands, literally. But >isn't that what a lot of abused women think? "If I >don't help him/stay with him/take care of him, who >will?" > >And in the man's case, he is mourning for someone >lost, right? The woman he loves, if I recall >correctly. It's a little unclear if he's disciplining >himself to gain understanding or if he's bent on >suicide too. Or maybe he wasn't in the beginning, but >it seems his only way to see her again? Grief makes >people do strange things sometimes. > >A short crit, I'm sorry, and not much of one to boot, >but my headache is coming back. Or maybe I need to >eat...
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