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Date Posted: 11:40:16 12/11/10 Sat
Author: Debi
Subject: Anybody? Bueller?
Here's homework. If it inspires you to write something, PLEASE SHARE. If you want to post a homework that you like better, PLEASE DO SO.
This place is full of crickets and dustbunnies.
1. Santa Baby- Gift time! What does your main character want for Christmas/Channukah/Solstice? What are they actually going to get? What are they buying for someone else and why? Do they even shop or celebrate the holiday, or do they lie low until the furor dies back?
2. Line, please!- Use the following line in a short scene from your current work or whatever you want.
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
Try it, you'll like it! Have fun and enjoy the season with friends and loved ones.
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Re: Anybody? Bueller? -- Page2, 22:43:46 12/11/10 Sat
LINE PLEASE: An excerpt from Chapter 27 of Remembrance that uses the line.
Happy Holidays to All. Best Wishes for a bright, healthy, happy New Year.
Stephanie
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
King Rhodri towered over him, an air of authority wrapped around him like a cloak. Camalus swallowed hard as he looked into the man’s piercing blue eyes. At thirteen summers he was considered by some to be a man but he was still just a scrawny scrap of a boy. How he wished he took after his father, the man standing before him, instead of the shrill drunken woman that was waiting inside for his lordship. His mother, the town whore; a means to earn their keep, she had told him when he had finally asked her what she did. When he was younger he had never truly understood why so many men had come calling after his mother, nor why he always had to leave when they came during the day. Now he knew. The children had been cruel and taunted him – he had always denied what his mother was; he had stood up for her. In a drunken abusive state she had admitted it, as well as his who his father was; their lord and king, the man who now came to see her and stood staring down at him. Rhodri owed him a lot, he thought.
“Yes,” the voice whispered. “Tell him he owes you, that you are his child; that you belong with him and his golden boy son Tarrant. I bet he laughs at you. They will all laugh at you. No one can love you like I.”
No, he told the voice. He was King Rhodri’s child. Dammit, he deserved to be living in the castle and afforded everything his brother Tarrant was given. It wasn’t fair that he had been forced to live in squalor with a woman who spread her legs for any man that gave her a shilling. I am a prince…Prince Camalus. The king would take him back to the castle. He needed to be with his father. Shouldn’t every boy grow up with their father? He could learn to fight – he would make him proud on and off the battlefield. If only…
The voice laughed. “Go on then. Tell him. What are you afraid of?” As Camalus stalled a moment, the voice prompted, “Remember this…I’ve always accepted you. Go on with it…beg him to accept you.”
Forcing the lump down in his throat Camalus looked up at that man before him. “Father?” King Rhodri showed no reaction. “Sir,” he said as he tugged on the man’s cloak. “I need to speak with you.”
Rhodri looked down in disgust at the filthy, foul-smelling boy dressed in rags. Before he could speak a heavy-set woman dressed in a thread-bare shift flew out the door shrieking at the boy.
“No! You will ruin everything. Get away from him.”
Camalus watched with disdain as his mother, practically naked, flew out the door and straight towards them. She reached out, grabbed him by his hair then pushed him to the ground. As he reached up and rubbed his head he heard soft laughter coming from the little voice within his mind. Shut up, he told it. He’ll want me, even if she don’t. Disgusted, he watched as his whorish mother rubbed her nasty, flabby body against Rhodri’s. Her hand disappeared inside his cloak and began to move low. Camalus stood up and grunted.
Ignoring her son she sidled up to King Rhodri. “I’ve missed you my lord. I’ve learned many new pleasures. Come inside, let me show them to you.”
“Whore,” Camalus uttered. “Get away from my father. Can’t you see you disgust him?”
His mother looked from her son to King Rhodri who began pulling away from her. He questioningly stared at her and then the boy. Reaching out she latched onto his cloak then got down on her knees. “My lord, let me please you. You know I can.” Looking up at the tall man, she shrugged her head toward the boy. “He’s a bit addlebrained. He has the sickness in here.” She tapped her head then stood up, pressing her body against him. “I will get rid of him. We can be alone and then…” Rubbing her hand over his chest she continued, “You can have your way.”
Staring at the two wretches he became disgusted. Why did this boy think he was his father and who was this woman to be so brazen. He came to see the lovely Aedia; surely this could not be her. “I have come to see the women Aedia.” He pushed the filthy tramp away from him and watched as the vile boy made his way closer to them.
“She is Aedia,” Camalus answered the King. Looking at his shaking red-faced mother he retorted, “I am not sick in the head. I take after him.” He pointed at Rhodri. “He has a right to know. Did you even tell him? Does he know mother?”
“What is this child prattling on about,” King Rhodri asked the woman.
“Tis nothing my lord.”
“Nothing! Tis not nothing.” Camalus exclaimed as he turned and looked at the king. “I am your son.”
Rhodri bellowed and doubled over in laughter. He looked at the boy and laughed again as he shook his head in disbelief. “My son? I think not!”
“I told you he would laugh,” the voice sung in his mind.
“I am your son. Mother told me. You, Tarrant and I…Look! We share the mark.” Rolling up his sleeve, Camalus showed him his birthmark. “See, tis the same as yours. I am your son. I belong at the castle with you and my brother Tarrant, not here. Not here with her,” he said with disdain as he looked at the sniveling woman at Rhodri’s feet.
“Go on… beg him,” dared the voice. “See if he takes you with him. You are nothing but a whore’s son. He cares not for you.”
Rhodri lashed out at the boy. “Do not utter my son’s name. I have but one son and you…” with revulsion and pity he looked at the boy. “That mark is nothing but dirt. Go away and talk of this story no more.”
Camalus watched as Rhodri made his way to his steed. He’s rejecting me, he thought incredulously. But I am his son.
“Come to me Camalus," the voice whispered. "I will be your father. I will be your whole world.”
How could he? I am his son. He stood stoic and watched as his mother grabbed onto the king’s leg and begged him to stay.
“Please my lord,” she begged with tears in her eyes. Grabbing the hem of his cloak she sniffed, “You came to me frequently many years ago. Twas I not the best ya eva had. I gave you every part of me. Come inside. Let me show you how good I still am.”
King Rhodri spat on her. Vile thing. This was not his Aedia. This was just a drunken smelly whore. “Get your filth off me.” Pulling his cloak hard, she dropped face first into the ground. He turned to find the boy staring at him. The gaze was nerving; hard and cold, there was no light in them only darkness. He’d seen that look before but not in a child. “What do you want now? Go away boy.”
“You are my father. Show me your arm,” demanded Camalus.
Shocked that such a young boy would demand anything from him, Rhodri stared hard at the lad. “I will show you nothing but the bottom of my boot. Go away beggar, you are nothing but a whore’s son.” He mounted his steed and looked to his two accompanying men. “We go now. We shall find pleasure in the next town.”
Camalus jumped up, grabbing and pulling back the King’s cloak revealing a birthmark on his forearm, the exact duplicate of his. Before he could say anything he found himself upended and laying in a pile of fresh horse manure. His father had booted him in the face and he was seeing stars. He sat up and looked over at his mother who did nothing but laugh at him. ‘Serves you right,’ she had wailed.
He held and rubbed his head with one hand and touched his sore and swelling lip with the other. He was bleeding he could taste it. He glared at King Rhodri and his men. They sat on their mounts laughing at him just as the voice said they would. “I will go to the castle. I will tell them you are my father. I shall tell my brother Tarrant…” The king was on him in an instant, holding him by the scruff of the neck.
“You will tell no one. You are nothing but trash,” he said angrily throwing the boy back into the muck heap. “You will have no proof.”
“I carry your mark,” Camalus said lying on the ground staring up at the imposing figure.
“Do you now,” he said coldly. Turning to his men he asked for a torch. One was lit and immediately brought to him. He stood staring at the boy who was now trying to stand. He placed his booted foot on the boy’s back and pushed him back to the earth. He placed his weight on his foot that rested on Camalus’ back so that he could not stand. The boy turned his head and stared up at him. He should be terrified; Rhodri thought as he narrowed his eyes and stared into the boy’s cold dark one. This bastard would be trouble if he didn’t do something. Bending over he grabbed the boy’s wrist and looked at the birthmark. He brought the torch closer. It was definitely his mark but this bastard child would never be part of his family. He had but one son, Tarrant. That was all that was needed, he thought as he inched the torch closer.
He has to accept me now, he see’s it. I am his child, I belong with him. “See I do not lie. Take me with you father. I shall make you proud.”
Rhodri laughed then chortled. “I bet you would but…” He moved the torch closer to the boys arm. He felt the child squirming under his foot as the heat of the flame began to singe his skin. Coldly he gazed at the boy. “I have but one son, he is all I need. He is the future king of Wales and will inherit all that I am. You…” He brought the torch to the boy’s skin, burning it so that nothing remained of the birthmark. He watched as the child screamed and twisted about in agony from the burn to his arm. He released his foot from the boy’s back then handed the torch to one of his men. The boy stopped his screaming, sat up and stared hard at him. King Rhodri noticed how dark and cold the boys eyes were. The child’s face was an unreadable mask as he held his free hand to his burnt arm. The boy’s eyes never left his as Rhodri said harshly, “You are nothing to me; just a bad seed sprung from my loins. A regrettable mistake, but one that has now been fixed.” He turned away and walked to his steed. As he mounted his horse he looked one last time at the boy on his knees. “Come to my castle or come near my family and you will regret it.”
Camalus watched as the king and his men rode off. He turned to his mother who walked towards him. “Mother…”
She walked up to him and smacked him hard across the face. “You cost me coins. How am I to pay for my drink and food now? You stupid, stupid boy.” She cuffed him again then stormed away heading back into their hovel of a home.
“Ahhh I told you this would happen,” said the voice. “I see and know all Camalus. They do not want you, nor do they love you. I love you. I can give you what you want, what you crave. Listen to me and you can have it all.”
How did you know? How can you give me what I want?
“I am all that is. I breathe as you breathe. Together we can manifest power and energy. We can bring the house of King Rhodri to its knees but you must listen to me and do what I ask. Do you seek revenge? Do you want all that is rightfully yours?”
Yes. Rhodri must suffer. I want him to pay.
“And he will pay as will your brother. You will have it all. I can give it to you. Are you sure that’s what you want?
“Yes!” he said aloud and in his mind.
You want it? Do you want my love? Will you listen to me now?”
Camalus sat on the cool earth and listened to the voice tell him what needed to be done. His arm bubbled and blistered but he felt no pain. He felt elated; he was finally loved. Smiling wickedly to himself he thought about how they were all going to pay. He nodded as he listened to the voice. Yes…yes. I can do that. Kill the whore. He stood up and walked towards the hut. Entering, he let the makeshift door slam behind him.
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Woo hoo Page2! This is great! >>> -- Esther, 11:54:49 12/14/10 Tue
And there’s nothing like jumping right into the fray! Chapter 27! *G*
Okay. Here are my impressions from reading this bit.
I really like Camalus. I’m under the impression that he’s had a rough time of it, and even though, he’s going to kill his mother, I still feel for him. Oh, and while I like Camalus, I love the voice! I’m assuming it’s the voice that makes Camalus’s eyes show such hatred, and be hard and cold with no light in them, only darkness. Great description!
Rhodri, well…he’s like the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t he. Thirteen years since he’s seen Aedia, and he doesn’t recognize her and pretty much expects her to look the same??? After knowing she’s a whore??? That’s a tough life. And just me questioning here, but why would a king visit a whore who apparently lived in a hovel?
And now Aedia. I think she has some saving grace, after all, she did try to hide from Camalus what she did to earn her coin. Granted, she’s rough around the edges and told him in a drunken and abusive state, but I don’t imagine the life she led could have resulted in her ending up any other way. Heck, turning to drink is totally plausible. IMHO But I have my suspicions that she’s more that what she seems. *G*
You have me intrigued. And knowing that it’s from Chapter 27 tells me nothing in relation to where this takes place in the story, so perhaps you’ll take pity on me and post some more. I’d love to read it.
Hugs
Esther
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THANK YOU!!>>>>>> -- Page2, 23:07:28 12/16/10 Thu
I’m assuming it’s the voice that makes Camalus’s eyes show
>such hatred, and be hard and cold with no light in them, only darkness. YES
>
>Rhodri, well…he’s like the pot calling the kettle
>black, isn’t he. Thirteen years since he’s seen
>Aedia, and he doesn’t recognize her and pretty much
>expects her to look the same??? After knowing she’s a
>whore??? That’s a tough life. And just me
>questioning here, but why would a king visit a whore
>who apparently lived in a hovel?
It's been a while for Rhodri, and he didn't realize the changes (to her & the home) had taken place there. He's a guy. LOL
>And now Aedia. I think she has some saving grace,
>after all, she did try to hide from Camalus what she
>did to earn her coin. Granted, she’s rough around the
>edges and told him in a drunken and abusive state, but
>I don’t imagine the life she led could have resulted
>in her ending up any other way. Heck, turning to
>drink is totally plausible. IMHO But I have my
>suspicions that she’s more that what she seems. *G*
This excerpt is just a quick remembrance from the protagonist's POV. He's sitting in a car and remembers this past and how the "voice" changed him. Of course, he kills a woman in this chapter too but I gave you the nicest chapter/version of this character. :-)
Up to this point in the story Camalus, or Mawry as his present day name is. He is not a nice person - very evil. Most of my beta's said that although they didn't like Mawry/Camalus cuz he was evil this "remembrance" helped them understand him better.
And knowing that it’s from Chapter 27 tells me nothing in relation to where this takes place in the story, so perhaps you’ll take pity on me and post some more. I’d love to read it.
I'd love to post more for opinions (since I am in editing stages) but don't want to be a board hog. This story is quite long and I need to shave off some word count - so I will be posting up things soon as I rework them. Thank you. :-) I'm happy you're intriqued.
I'm glad you liked it, and love the voice he hears. I often wondered if "the voice" comes off right as it is always there.
THANK YOU for the comments!!!
Steph
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