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Date Posted: 16:47:36 02/22/11 Tue
Author: Esther
Subject: HOMEWORK

Okay. There were no takers so you're stuck with me doing the assignment. Please don't make me do it again. *G*

Option 1: Write a scene that deals with physical force and the aftermath of it. The possibilites are endless.

Option 2: Have one character observe another. Include physical detail and internal thoughts, but not any dialogue. See what you can convey through the senses.

Option 3: A writing prompt. This time your word is innocence.

And that's that. Have fun!

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[> Hola! I'm back from the land of brain dead. It could be I've posted this scene before, but if so, it was long enough ago that even I don't remember. Don't hold back on me. I've been going to a crit group where you have to read aloud in front of about 15, mostly male action /adventure/spy readers- believe me, they don't hold back. -- susiej, 18:04:16 02/27/11 Sun

brief intro: Rose is at her grandmother's funeral where all the village gossips are talking about her unaware that her half-fae hearing allows her to hear everything they say (and non of it is nice)

Rose titled her head trying to see who’d spoken when a glimmer near the grave caught her eye. Light rarely made it to the roots of the old oak. Looking closer she realized a young man stood among the shadows, with his head bowed.

Something about his manner made her still instantly, like she had when she’d seen the stag at the edge of the field. She knew such sightings were gifts, that the wild creatures were aware of her long before she’d sensed them. She also knew that one wrong move could make them vanish into the trees.

This man wasn’t easy to see in the first place. His tunic, breeches, and boots were the same gray as the thick trunk behind him, and they fit his long, lean form as neatly as the bark fit the tree. His black hair fell forward, hiding his face. Her fingers twitched aching to brush it back and he lifted his head and looked straight at her.
His eyes were a blue such as she’d only seen in the hottest part of a fire. She actually felt her cheeks warming, and her heart beat faster as it did when the stag had met her gaze and she’d had to remind herself not to forget the horns while longing to stroke the graceful neck. Nor should one forget the speed and power with which such creatures moved.

Gradie gruffed softly, and she blinked. She’d been staring. As so many had done at her! But the man smiled as though he didn’t mind at all. As if, he was glad.

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[> [> Good imagery! -- Debi, 10:29:54 03/12/11 Sat

>brief intro: Rose is at her grandmother's funeral
>where all the village gossips are talking about her
>unaware that her half-fae hearing allows her to hear
>everything they say (and non of it is nice)
>
>Rose titled tiltedher head trying to see who’d spoken when a
>glimmer near the grave caught her eye. Light rarely
>made it to the roots of the old oak. Looking closer
>she realized a young man stood among the shadows, with
>his head bowed.
>
>Something about his manner made her still instantly,
>like she had when she’d seen the stag at the edge of
>the field. She knew such sightings were gifts, that
>the wild creatures were aware of her long before she’d
>sensed them. She also knew that one wrong move could
>make them vanish into the trees.
>
>This man wasn’t easy to see in the first place. His
>tunic, breeches, and boots were the same gray as the
>thick trunk behind him, and they fit his long, lean
>form as neatly as the bark fit the tree. His black
>hair fell forward, hiding his face. Her fingers
>twitched comma here, for a pause aching to brush it back and he lifted his
>head and looked straight at her.
>His eyes were a blue such as she’d only seen in the
>hottest part of a fire. Awesome description. My blue-eyed people always get compared to skies. This implies his wild nature as well as the bright color.She actually felt her cheeks
>warming, and her heart beat faster as it did when the
>stag had met her gaze and she’d had to remind herself
>not to forget the horns while longing to stroke the
>graceful neck. Nor should one forget the speed and
>power with which such creatures moved.
>
>Gradie gruffed softly, and she blinked. She’d been
>staring. As so many had done at her! But the man
>smiled as though he didn’t mind at all. As if, Here I'd delete the comma. he was
>glad.

Excellent images of what this scene should look like. I can see the oak, shafts of sunlight and this man all very clearly. Mission accomplished!
Debi

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[> Option 2 -- Debi, 09:48:13 03/12/11 Sat

Valerie and Daniel, at some point in the near future.

Excerpt from New Tricks, copyright 2010-2011. All rights reserved. Does not constitute publication.

Daniel sat on the deck, book in hand, Taser lying beside his chair. He had offered to help Valerie with her gardening but she refused his help, accepting only his company. She puttered through the ever-expanding flowerbeds; he wondered if he’d have any lawn left when she was finished. Late spring sun filtered through the trees, leaving only patches of sunlight.

Her growing belly served as a convenient spot to brace a plant while she pulled the plastic pot off the root ball. It proved less useful when she bent to push soil back into the hole. She tried a different tactic, bending from the side, and nearly toppled. As she glanced over to see if he’d witnessed her awkward moment, he pretended to watch a squirrel on the deck rail, suppressing a smile. She used the shovel with its blade jammed in the soil to lever herself upright and shrugged, kicking the dirt and tamping it in with her feet. She still had five months to go but her small body didn’t adjust to accommodating the baby with grace. It only made her more beautiful.

She placed a few more plants in their new homes and straightened to observe the effect while Daniel abandoned the pretense of his book and watched her. Her ivory skin glowed in the dappled sunlight, except where it was smeared with dirt. She shifted her weight and her hands went to the small of her back as she stretched. She was remarkably supple, arching back slow and careful and straightening the same way. Tugging her dirty gloves off, she unclipped her hair and rubbed vigorously at her scalp, making the dark curls ripple and gleam in the light. Daniel thought of tangling his hands in it, his heart thumping hard a few beats at the notion. Another stretch pressed her breasts tight within her black tank top and his thoughts strayed further south. Her usual curvy body was a lush garden of swells and valleys now; pregnancy suited her. The new and exciting changes suited him too; as did her bending down to pick up the abandoned gloves, holding onto the shovel this time to avoid mishap. Now her shorts molded to her hips and buttocks, the angle of the light and his vantage point offering him a tantalizing view for just a moment. As she lifted her head, she turned toward him, bright blue eyes sharp and questing. Her gaze met his, then fell to his lap. He glanced down and dropped his book, title forgotten, over the evidence, grinning at her.

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[> [> Giggling like a school girl >>>> -- susiej, 19:39:22 03/12/11 Sat

Verra cute. Loved all of it- don't have a crit. It flowed well and I "saw" everything.

The only comment I can make is that, for some reason, I did't get that we were in Daniel's POV until the line "it only made her more beautiful" So that made me say "Huh" for a moment but I can't say why I thought Daniel. Have we always been in his before? I've been so hit and miss maybe I was thinking of Molly. But I thought I'd mention it though I think it's my error.

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