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Date Posted: 15:53:19 09/09/09 Wed
Author: Page
Subject: There will be a test later, so remember this scene >>>>>
In reply to: Page 's message, "The request line is open!" on 17:53:55 09/08/09 Tue

Like Esther said, there's a climax to the frenzy of writing I did, and even though it may not be clear now, it'll make a ton of sense later on. So here 'tis:

Excerpt from Carey On (yes, that's the title)
©2009 by Juli Morgan
Posted for purposes of critique only, and does not constitute publication

“Jay, will you turn loose of the girl and come on?” Walter’s voice was aggrieved. “You can fuck her anytime, but right now we have a show to do.”

In an instant, Jay’s body turned to steel in her arms. She clutched him with desperate strength when he tried to pull away, afraid of what he’d do to his manager. “It’s alright, baby, it’s okay,” she said in a rush, trying to calm him. “Look at me, Jay. No, look at me.” Heart pounding, she stared into his eyes. “No,” she whispered, and didn’t know if it was meant as a deterrent, or a denial of something she’d never seen there before. “C’mon, let’s go. The last time I saw you play was in Germany, remember?”

It worked, as some of the fury left his face at the recollection, and her head whirled at yet another 180 degree turn in his demeanor. “I remember. Seems like a long time ago.”

“Yeah, it does.” Arms around each other, they left the room, with Walter walking a prudent distance ahead. With narrowed eyes, Katie watched him swagger toward the stage. He’d always been an arrogant little prick, but he seemed to getting worse. She was aware of his brilliance as a manager; he’d refused to back down to promoters, record company executives, and anyone else connected with the music industry, the result being that Shadowed Knight was able to keep more of the revenue generated by their music and performances, and complete artistic control of their records. Still, that didn’t excuse his attitude with the band. She stood back as Jay took his guitar, and slung it across his hips. Hearing Walter speaking to someone on her left, Katie turned in that direction, and grabbed his upper arm.

“What?” Walter snapped. “I’m busy right now, Katie.” He looked pointedly at the hand gripping his arm.

Katie clutched tighter. “Hear what I’m saying, Walter. You need to remember who works for who around here. If no one else will tell you, I’m telling you now.” She stared into his furious eyes with a calm she didn’t feel. “Next time you talk to him like that, I turn him loose. Got it?”

Walter jerked away from her, but she was gratified to see him throw a nervous glance toward Jay, who seemed to be unaware of them. Without a word, Walter turned and stalked off. Katie drew a deep breath. Maybe she’d overstepped her bounds a little – okay, a lot; but damn it all, she felt she had to. The changes in Jay in the three months since she’d seen him got all her protective juices flowing, and she didn’t intend to let Walter or anyone else use him as a cash cow to be milked until there was nothing more to give. Besides, she needed an outlet for her growing frustration, and Walter was a handy target. It was two o’clock in the morning in London, and her body was growing more insistent that she find a bed and get some sleep. That, coupled with the see-saw her emotions had been on keeping up with Jay’s whip-sawing moods, had worn her patience thin. It was a wonder she hadn’t snapped before now.

“You’re hired.” Jay’s arm came around her neck, and pulled her back against him. “I’ve been needing someone to look after my interests, and I think you’re the perfect girl for the job.”

“Hey, if I can handle the entire Birmingham Police Department, I can certainly keep that little jerk in line.”

He released her with a soft laugh, and she turned to smile at him. His guitar was slung over his back, and her smile turned into a grin. He looked like a disreputable Robin Hood, with his quiver and bow at the ready. With a shrug of his shoulder, Jay pulled the guitar around, the instrument resting in its accustomed place on his hip.

“'Behold, I have a weapon,'” Katie quoted. “'A better never did itself sustain upon a soldier’s thigh.'”

A quick grin transformed his face. “'I have another weapon in this chamber.'” He muffled her giggle with a kiss, and walked onto the darkened stage with an insouciance Othello would have envied.

Walter’s voice boomed through the speakers as he introduced the band, and Shadowed Knight roared into Paradox. Katie immediately realized there was no good place from which to see the stage from the sidelines, and started hunting around for a better view. The top of an amplifier beckoned her, and she enlisted Cindy’s help in climbing on top of it. After giving the other girl a hand up, she settled in to watch the band. At the finish of Paradox, they tore right into White Dust Night, which was supposed to have been the name of the band before the drug connotations had nixed it. Katie looked away from Stuart, who was strutting around with the bass like the only rooster in the barnyard, and saw Jay’s eyes darting around side of the stage. Her heart swelled in her chest as she realized he was looking for her. She had never been sure if he remembered she was there during the times she’d attended his shows, but now she was sure of it. Leaning precariously forward, she willed him to look in her direction.

The scowl on his face disappeared when he caught sight of her, and he tossed her a smile before turning back to the business at hand. Katie knew she was grinning like an idiot, but she couldn’t help herself as she watched Jay transform from a worried boyfriend into a rock and roll god. Chest already glistening with sweat under the hot lights, he stomped across the stage, commanding attention, and getting it. During his solo, he bent so far backward, his hair brushed the stage, and Katie watched the crowd lose its collective mind. In that instant, she understood why Adam hadn’t been able to find words to describe what flowed from the audience to the band. Even she could feel it, and was affected by it.

She and Cindy remained on their perch during the show, during George’s marathon drum solo, and during the intervals between the band’s three encores. By the time Shadowed Knight thundered into the opening bars of Imperial Jade, their final number, Katie was feeling as antsy as a drunk with a bad case of the DTs. She thought Jay’s description of this feeling as a beast was apt. Like a wild animal, she wanted to grab him, rip his clothes off, and have him drive her mindless with pleasure, relieving the tension that was almost an ache inside her. She envied the band, as they were able to unleash some of that back into the audience, who responded with howls of delight.

How different the audience was in the States! In Germany, the crowd had been appreciative, if a little subdued; and in England the shows had been met by polite applause, the kind of response bored adults might give to a children’s school play. Not that she’d expected anything different. She snorted, recalling the reaction to Led Zeppelin the two times she, Adam and Maureen had seen them at The Marquee. She and Maureen had been the only ones in the club who had shown any overt appreciation of the performances, and Katie hadn’t won any friends by referring to the rest of the crowd as “a bunch of pussies” after overhearing moans about how loud the band had been.

But here! These people loved Shadowed Knight, and weren’t afraid to show it. They hurled themselves toward the stage, screamed their appreciation of every solo, every song, everything the band did. When Jay held his guitar over his head, his fingers flying along the fretboard so fast they were a blur, the music was almost drowned out by the roars of delight from the crowd. When Adam let out a primal scream to begin Hard Lovin’, they screamed back. George’s drum solo was met by a sea of lighters, lighting up the gym as effectively as the overhead fixtures. The love poured from the audience, a feeling so intense it was almost tangible. No wonder the band was amped after these shows!

With a start, she realized the show was over. Dammit, she’d missed Imperial Jade, her favorite song. Adam and Jay had written it for her, naming it after what Jay said was the color of her eyes, and she’d not heard a note. She turned as Cindy slid off the amp and hurried to meet Stuart. Katie inched toward the edge, her lack of undergarments making a dismount a tricky proposition. Then Jay was there, holding his arms up to her. She maneuvered herself to where he could grasp her around the waist and lower her to the stage floor, but when she would have thrown herself at him, he held her back.

“I’m soaking wet,” he warned her.

“Do you think I care?” She pressed against him, and ran her tongue up his neck. “That’s holy water to me. Besides, I’m soaking wet, too.”

“Damn.” Jay clutched her to him, and spoke over her shoulder. “Rick! Bring the six-string acoustic. I’m keeping it with me.”

“Sure, Jay, I’ll have it….”

“No, I want you to bring it back to the dressing room now. I’m going to need you for a moment.” Jay looked down at Katie, his eyes glinting in the dim light. “And I need you for a moment, too.”

“Only a moment?”

“This time.” The look he gave her made her quiver in anticipation.

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[> [> Love it! -- Debi, 18:43:43 09/09/09 Wed

Awesome. You really captured the sense of energy and feedback the band and the crowd have together.

And what's up with some audiences? Thank God they're not always like that in England. It would have made Queen's Wembly concert much dimished, Freddie Mercury's strut notwithstanding, without all those people clapping the rhythm of Radio Ga Ga and everyone singing the the chorus of We Will Rock You.

I love Katie going after Walter. She's protective of her man and I think she did a fine job. So did Jay...;-)

And just what is going to happen in that one little moment? C'mon, spill!

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[> [> [> Spilling >>>> -- Page, 19:14:23 09/09/09 Wed

Audiences have certainly loosened up over the years, and good for them, because it's a whole lot more fun to whoop and holler than to just sit there and clap. I own the Led Zeppelin DVD set (duh), and it includes their performances at Earl's Court in 1975. After they'd done "Trampled Underfoot" with Robert in all his Golden God glory, and Jimmy strutting around with his chest all bare and glistening and sliding his hand up and down the neck of that guitar in the most insinuating manner (stop, I must stop!), the audience applauded politely. Sure, there were a few whistles, but for the most part, they just clapped. I, of course, am sitting there watching a bleedin' DVD and my tongue is hanging on the floor. If I'd been there, I would've been tossed out for sure. *G*

What were we talking about?

Oh, yes. A moment in time:

Excerpt from Carey On
©2009 by Juli Morgan
Posted for purposes of critique only, and does not constitute publication

Rick approached them, holding the case that contained Jay’s guitar. “What’cha need, Jay?”

His arm firm around Katie’s shoulders, Jay started backstage. “Just come with me.” With Rick trailing along, perplexed, he led them into the locker room, ignoring the greetings and congratulations that were offered. He went straight for the loo, and after checking to make sure it was unoccupied, stationed Rick at the door with firm orders that no one was to enter. Rick cocked a brow.

“What if someone needs to…”

“Not my problem,” Jay said in dismissal. “No one gets in.”

Rick shrugged, and turned his back, his wide shoulders almost filling the doorway. Jay turned back to Katie, and started toward her with purpose.

Her pulse threatened to pound out of her wrists as she watched him stride toward her. He hadn’t been kidding, he was soaking wet, his clothes drenched, and sweat dripping from his hair. His hazel eyes were fixed on hers, unswerving and burning with desire. Just as she now understood that energy that filled him during a performance, she now understood its effect on him. He was literally vibrating with it; she’d felt it as they walked backstage, and she could almost see the fine tremor that ran through him. Katie gasped at the heat from his hands as they descended on her shoulders, and felt herself being pushed backward. “What..” she began.

“Hush.” The command was soft, but brooked no argument. He kept advancing, and Katie stumbled over her feet until she felt the wall against her back. Jay released her shoulders, and his hands went to flies of his jeans. He was smiling at her now, a smile that told her in no uncertain terms she was about to be ravished, and that he was going to thoroughly enjoy it. It was also clear that he hoped she would, too, but if she didn't, he wasn't much concerned with it.

Jay’s hands slid under the hem of her dress, and his smile broadened when he encountered no obstacles. “My, my, Katie,” he whispered. “It appears you’ve read my mind.” With no further discussion, he lifted her, pushed her hard against the wall, and pulled her down on him with a muffled groan of pleasure.

Katie gasped as he filled her, and bit the shoulder of his jacket to stifle her own moans. She could taste the salt of his sweat, and smell his hot, musky scent, and the animal instincts she'd felt earlier came roaring back. His breath panted in her ear, and she had a sudden vision of him onstage; holding his guitar over his head like a sacrificial offering, his long, lean body striding across the stage, bare skin revealed by his open jacket and his low-slung jeans, his face obscured by his hair, and an earth-shattering orgasm ripped through her. Feeling it, Jay took her chin in one hand, and pulled her face to his, covering her mouth with his, swallowing her cries. In a moment, his movements sped up to a furious peak before he froze, crushing her against the wall.

Katie’s memories of the remainder of the night were fragmented, seen through a haze of a sleepiness so intense she could almost touch it, and the release of that damned energy she’d felt which left her feeling like she’d just come down off a methamphetamine high. She remembered the industrial smell of the soap and the rough texture of the paper towels she’d used to clean herself after Jay had finally let her go. She remembered leaning against him, limp as a dishrag, as he sat sprawled in a chair while they waited for the crowd to disperse so they could leave unmolested. And she remembered thinking that while some of Jay’s energy had abated, it wasn’t gone, just throttled back to a thrum, like the motor of a luxury car at low idle. First and foremost in her mind, however, was the memory of her amazement when she realized Jay’s intent once they got back to the motel. He never stopped at once a night, but he’d already made love to her twice in the space of one evening, and she thought he couldn’t possibly be ready for more. But not only was he ready, he was also more than able. Katie had no clear memories of anything after being thrown on the bed, just misty rose-colored impressions of waves of intense bliss washing over her repeatedly until she supposed she’d passed out. When she thought back over it later, she decided it wasn’t a bad way to go, and she couldn’t wait to do it all again.

(And for that visual that popped into Katie's head, it's here.)

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[> [> [> [> I can't do anything but grin like a fool... -- Debi, 21:48:26 09/09/09 Wed

*wibble*...

Katie had
>no clear memories of anything after being thrown on
>the bed, just misty rose-colored impressions of waves
>of intense bliss washing over her repeatedly until she
>supposed she’d passed out. When she thought back over
>it later, she decided it wasn’t a bad way to go, and
>she couldn’t wait to do it all again.

Love this line!

>(And for that visual that popped into Katie's head,
>it's >href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r99/julipage/J
>immy/jp95.jpg">here.)

*more wibbling*

(Hmmm... I wonder if Clive has a musical bone in his body.... ahhh... who cares?! *biting tongue to stop the whole 'bone' thing from going any further* ;-)

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[> [> [> [> [> ALL British men are rock stars. *G* -- Page, 22:14:41 09/09/09 Wed


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[> [> [> [> [> Oh, and "wibble?" I'm going to have to remember that one! -- Page, 22:17:50 09/09/09 Wed


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[> [> [> [> Re: Spilling >>>> -- Larn, 16:04:02 09/14/09 Mon

Man, you can't get me all wound up like that. I work with too many attractive guys!

You've got me thinking about Jay's beast, where it comes from. I have a friend who dabbled in S&M and she called it letting out her demons. It worried me a little, that it was something her latest boyfriend was pushing on her, but I guess it was something she had to work through. She's no longer with the guy but still enjoys a whip now and then. It's not my thing, but she explained it to me in a way that made it seem a little appealing, for all that I still don't want to try it.

I'm thinking Jay is on a much, much darker road, but with the same intentions. There's something in there, something unlocked that he doesn't know how to channel. You've written this well and Jay seems like a tightly twisted rubber band, with one little slip and he'll spin out of control. The tension is delicious!

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[> [> [> [> [> I'm still coughing my head off, but at least I no longer want to die. *G* >>>>> -- Page, 14:56:26 09/20/09 Sun

I've never been curious about whips, etc. If anyone were to ever use a whip on me during, er, activities, I would probably turn around and attempt to strangle them with it. *raised eyebrows* I'm just not cut out for S&M.

And Jay never thought he was, either, and it's taken him completely by surprise, hence his attempting to fob it off on a beast, some outside force that makes him want to do it.

I liked your analogy of the tightly twisted rubber band. And during this long interlude (4 chapters. Whew!) Katie unintentionally provides the slip that sends him spinning out of control.

Thanks for the insight, Larn!

Hugs,
Page

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[> [> [> [> And the second crit>>>> -- Lady Morilka, 17:48:22 09/24/09 Thu

>Excerpt from Carey On
>©2009 by Juli Morgan
>Posted for purposes of critique only, and does not
>constitute publication
>
>Rick approached them, holding the case that contained
>Jay’s guitar. “What’cha need, Jay?”
>
>His arm firm around Katie’s shoulders, Jay started
>backstage.
I'm not sure if this is just me,but I would rearange that sentence to "With a firm arm around Katie's shoulder..." Not sure why, but for me that sounds better, maybe because .. oh hell how to explain that. I'm waiting for Jay to do something with/to Katie after that start, not to do something else. Not sure if that makes sence. maybe an example: "His arm firm around Katies shoulders, Jay turned, facing her and kissed her thouroughly." or "..., Jay looked her deep in the eyes and said..." You get the point?
“Just come with me.” With Rick trailing
>along, perplexed, he led them into the locker room,
>ignoring the greetings and congratulations that were
>offered. He went straight for the loo, and after
>checking to make sure it was unoccupied, stationed
>Rick at the door with firm orders that no one was to
>enter. Rick cocked a brow.
>
>“What if someone needs to…”
>
>“Not my problem,” Jay said in dismissal. “No one gets
>in.”
>
>Rick shrugged, and turned his back, his wide shoulders
>almost filling the doorway. Jay turned back to Katie,
>and started toward her with purpose.
>
>Her pulse threatened to pound out of her wrists as she
>watched him stride toward her. He hadn’t been
>kidding, he was soaking wet, his clothes
>drenched, and sweat dripping from his hair. His hazel
>eyes were fixed on hers, unswerving ok, here I just learned a new word ;)and burning with
>desire. Just as she now understood that energy that
>filled him during a performance, she now understood
>its effect on him. He was literally vibrating with
>it;
Here I would make a . to keep the sentences short. It pronouncec the feeling, short, breathles,...
she’d felt it as they walked backstage, and she
>could almost see the fine tremor that ran through him.
> Katie gasped at the heat from his hands as they
>descended on her shoulders, and felt herself being
>pushed backward. “What..” she began.
>
>“Hush.” The command was soft, but brooked no
>argument. He kept advancing, and Katie stumbled over
>her feet until she felt the wall against her back.
>Jay released her shoulders, and his hands went to
>flies of his jeans. He was smiling at her now, a
>smile that told her in no uncertain terms she was
>about to be ravished, and that he was going to
>thoroughly enjoy it. It was also clear that he hoped
>she would, too, but if she didn't, he wasn't much
>concerned with it.
>
>Jay’s hands slid under the hem of her dress, and his
>smile broadened when he encountered no obstacles.
>“My, my, Katie,” he whispered. “It appears you’ve
>read my mind.” With no further discussion, he lifted
>her, pushed her hard against the wall, and pulled her
>down on him with a muffled groan of pleasure.
>
>Katie gasped as he filled her, and bit the shoulder of
>his jacket to stifle her own moans. She could taste
>the salt of his sweat, and smell his hot, musky scent,
>and the animal instincts she'd felt earlier came
>roaring back. His breath panted in her ear, and she
>had a sudden vision of him onstage; holding his guitar
>over his head like a sacrificial offering, his long,
>lean body striding across the stage, bare skin
>revealed by his open jacket and his low-slung jeans,
>his face obscured by his hair, and an earth-shattering
>orgasm ripped through her. Feeling it, Jay took her
>chin in one hand, and pulled her face to his, covering
>her mouth with his, swallowing her cries. In a
>moment, his movements sped up to a furious peak before
>he froze, crushing her against the wall.
HOT
>
>Katie’s memories of the remainder of the night were
>fragmented, seen through a haze of a sleepiness so
>intense she could almost touch it, and the release of
>that damned energy she’d felt which left her feeling
>like she’d just come down off a methamphetamine high.
>She remembered the industrial smell of the soap and
>the rough texture of the paper towels she’d used to
>clean herself after Jay had finally let her go. She
>remembered leaning against him, limp as a dishrag, as
>he sat sprawled in a chair while they waited for the
>crowd to disperse so they could leave unmolested. And
>she remembered thinking that while some of Jay’s
>energy had abated, it wasn’t gone, just throttled back
>to a thrum, like the motor of a luxury car at low
>idle. First and foremost in her mind, however, was
>the memory of her amazement when she realized Jay’s
>intent once they got back to the motel. He never
>stopped at once a night, but he’d already made love to
>her twice in the space of one evening, and she thought
>he couldn’t possibly be ready for more. But not only
>was he ready, he was also more than able. Katie had
>no clear memories of anything after being thrown on
>the bed, just misty rose-colored impressions of waves
>of intense bliss washing over her repeatedly until she
>supposed she’d passed out. When she thought back over
>it later, she decided it wasn’t a bad way to go, and
>she couldn’t wait to do it all again.
>
>(And for that visual that popped into Katie's head,
>it's >href="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r99/julipage/J
>immy/jp95.jpg">here.)

Ok, that is one hot scene, love it! But somehow, I dont like the way it ends. It is a bit vague. When is it?when Katie wakes up, during breakfast, later on... There is just now setting in which she remembers the night. That leaves me wondering while I should be mulling over other things, like her pleasure or when it will happen again.

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[> [> Thud! Othello line was sexy but I love, love ,love the Robin Hood line. Robin was my first lit crush when I was oh, about 8. Hot , dashing, guy in short tunics. Sigh, its one of the reasons I so love fantasy. -- susiej, 19:28:32 09/09/09 Wed


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[> [> [> I'm with you susiej... Robin Hood is hot... -- Debi, 21:49:40 09/09/09 Wed


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[> [> [> I thought back, and I think Robin Hood was my first lit love, too. I always wished I was Maid Marian! -- Page, 22:15:49 09/09/09 Wed


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[> [> [> [> Me too! But then I'd always want to run around and have a bow and arrow of my own- tomgirl, ya know. I wanted it all! That's why Rose is the way she is (and Edan too). -- susiej, 14:03:25 09/10/09 Thu


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[> [> [> [> [> That's why my favorite RH incarnation is the Robin of Sherwood series. Marian was so cool... -- Debi, 06:28:04 09/11/09 Fri


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[> [> Late but here are my two cents>>> -- Lady Morilka, 17:25:01 09/24/09 Thu

>Excerpt from Carey On (yes, that's the title)
>©2009 by Juli Morgan
>Posted for purposes of critique only, and does not
>constitute publication
>
>“Jay, will you turn loose of the girl and come on?”
>Walter’s voice was aggrieved. “You can fuck her
>anytime, but right now we have a show to do.”
If I hadn`t gotten a glimps of walter before, that one line would be enough for not liking him now matter how good a job he does.
>
>In an instant, Jay’s body turned to steel in her arms.
> She clutched him with desperate strength when he
>tried to pull away, afraid of what he’d do to his
>manager. “It’s alright, baby, it’s okay,” she said in
>a rush, trying to calm him. “Look at me, Jay. No,
>look at me.” Heart pounding, she stared into his
>eyes. “No,” she whispered, and didn’t know if it was
>meant as a deterrent, or a denial of something she’d
>never seen there before. “C’mon, let’s go. The last
>time I saw you play was in Germany, remember?”
>
>It worked, as some of the fury left his face at the
>recollection, and her head whirled at yet another 180
>degree turn in his demeanor. “I remember. Seems like
>a long time ago.”
>
>“Yeah, it does.” Arms around each other, they left
>the room, with Walter walking a prudent distance
>ahead. With narrowed eyes, Katie watched him swagger
>toward the stage. He’d always been an arrogant little
>prick, but he seemed to begetting worse. She was aware
>of his brilliance as a manager; he’d refused to back
>down to promoters, record company executives, and
>anyone else connected with the music industry, the
>result being that Shadowed Knight was able to keep
>more of the revenue generated by their music and
>performances, and complete artistic control of their
>records. Still, that didn’t excuse his attitude with
>the band. She stood back as Jay took his guitar,
>and slung it across his hips. Hearing Walter speaking
>to someone on her left, Katie turned in that
>direction, and grabbed his upper arm.
>
>“What?” Walter snapped. “I’m busy right now, Katie.”
>He looked pointedly at the hand gripping his arm.
>
>Katie clutched tighter. “Hear what I’m saying,
>Walter. You need to remember who works for who around
>here. If no one else will tell you, I’m telling you
>now.” She stared into his furious eyes with a calm
>she didn’t feel. “Next time you talk to him like
>that, I turn him loose. Got it?”
Oh and he wouldnt like that ;) I like this thread, it leaves it to the reader to imagine what jay could do.
>
>Walter jerked away from her, but she was gratified to
>see him throw a nervous glance toward Jay, who seemed
>to be unaware of them. Without a word, Walter turned
>and stalked off. Katie drew a deep breath. Maybe
>she’d overstepped her bounds a little – okay, a lot;
>but damn it all, she felt she had to. The changes in
>Jay in the three months since she’d seen him got all
>her protective juices flowing, and she didn’t intend
>to let Walter or anyone else use him as a cash cow to
>be milked until there was nothing more to give.
>Besides, she needed an outlet for her growing
>frustration, and Walter was a handy target. It was
>two o’clock in the morning in London, and her body was
>growing more insistent that she find a bed and get
>some sleep. That, coupled with the see-saw her
>emotions had been on keeping up with Jay’s whip-sawing
>moods, had worn her patience thin. It was a wonder
>she hadn’t snapped before now.
>
>“You’re hired.” Jay’s arm came around her neck, and
>pulled her back against him. “I’ve been needing
>someone to look after my interests, and I think you’re
>the perfect girl for the job.”
I just love when men notice something like that without feeling deminished by it, shows real strengh. I like that Jay is able to do that.
>
>“Hey, if I can handle the entire Birmingham Police
>Department, I can certainly keep that little jerk in
>line.”
Ok, I hope there is a reference to this clue somewhere in the story, cos I'm burning to know why she had to handle the police department!
>
>He released her with a soft laugh, and she turned to
>smile at him. His guitar was slung over his back, and
>her smile turned into a grin. He looked like a
>disreputable Robin Hood, with his quiver and bow at
>the ready. With a shrug of his shoulder, Jay pulled
>the guitar around, the instrument resting in its
>accustomed place on his hip.
>
>“'Behold, I have a weapon,'” Katie quoted. “'A better
>never did itself sustain upon a soldier’s thigh.'”
>
>A quick grin transformed his face. “'I have another
>weapon in this chamber.'” He muffled her giggle with
>a kiss, and walked onto the darkened stage with an
>insouciance Othello would have envied.
>
>Walter’s voice boomed through the speakers as he
>introduced the band, and Shadowed Knight roared into
>Paradox. Katie immediately realized there was no good
>place from which to see the stage from the sidelines,
>and started hunting around for a better view. The top
>of an amplifier beckoned her, and she enlisted Cindy’s
>help in climbing on top of it.
Ok, I know why Cindy is there (she's a groupie after all) but at what time doe we/does Katie find that out? is that explained in the scene befor?
After giving the other
>girl a hand up, she settled in to watch the band. At
>the finish of Paradox, they tore right into White Dust
>Night, which was supposed to have been the name of the
>band before the drug connotations had nixed it. Katie
>looked away from Stuart, who was strutting around with
>the bass like the only rooster in the barnyard, and
>saw Jay’s eyes darting around side of the stage. Her
>heart swelled in her chest as she realized he was
>looking for her. She had never been sure if he
>remembered she was there during the times she’d
>attended his shows, but now she was sure of it.
Ohhh, such a sweet moment in that scene
>Leaning precariously forward, she willed him to look
>in her direction.
>
>The scowl on his face disappeared when he caught sight
>of her, and he tossed her a smile before turning back
>to the business at hand. Katie knew she was grinning
>like an idiot, but she couldn’t help herself as she
>watched Jay transform from a worried boyfriend into a
>rock and roll god. Chest already glistening with
>sweat under the hot lights, he stomped across the
>stage, commanding attention, and getting it. During
>his solo, he bent so far backward, his hair brushed
>the stage, and Katie watched the crowd lose its
>collective mind. In that instant, she understood why
>Adam hadn’t been able to find words to describe what
>flowed from the audience to the band. Even she could
>feel it, and was affected by it.
>
>She and Cindy remained on their perch during the show,
>during George’s marathon drum solo, and during the
>intervals between the band’s three encores. By the
>time Shadowed Knight thundered into the opening bars
>of Imperial Jade, their final number, Katie was
>feeling as antsy as a drunk with a bad case of the
>DTs. She thought Jay’s description of this feeling as
>a beast was apt. Like a wild animal, she wanted to
>grab him, rip his clothes off, and have him drive her
>mindless with pleasure, relieving the tension that was
>almost an ache inside her. She envied the band, as
>they were able to unleash some of that back into the
>audience, who responded with howls of delight.
>
>How different the audience was in the States! In
>Germany, the crowd had been appreciative, if a little
>subdued; and in England the shows had been met by
>polite applause, the kind of response bored adults
>might give to a children’s school play. Not that
>she’d expected anything different. She snorted,
>recalling the reaction to Led Zeppelin the two times
>she, Adam and Maureen had seen them at The Marquee.
>She and Maureen had been the only ones in the club who
>had shown any overt appreciation of the performances,
>and Katie hadn’t won any friends by referring to the
>rest of the crowd as “a bunch of pussies” after
>overhearing moans about how loud the band had been.
>
>But here! These people loved Shadowed Knight, and
>weren’t afraid to show it. They hurled themselves
>toward the stage, screamed their appreciation of every
>solo, every song, everything the band did. When Jay
>held his guitar over his head, his fingers flying
>along the fretboard so fast they were a blur, the
>music was almost drowned out by the roars of delight
>from the crowd. When Adam let out a primal scream to
>begin Hard Lovin’, they screamed back. George’s drum
>solo was met by a sea of lighters, lighting up the gym
>as effectively as the overhead fixtures. The love
>poured from the audience, a feeling so intense it was
>almost tangible. No wonder the band was amped after
>these shows!
>
>With a start, she realized the show was over. Dammit,
>she’d missed Imperial Jade, her favorite song. Adam
>and Jay had written it for her, naming it after what
>Jay said was the color of her eyes, and she’d not
>heard a note. She turned as Cindy slid off the amp
>and hurried to meet Stuart. Katie inched toward the
>edge, her lack of undergarments making a dismount a
>tricky proposition. Then Jay was there, holding his
>arms up to her. She maneuvered herself to where he
>could grasp her around the waist and lower her to the
>stage floor, but when she would have thrown herself at
>him, he held her back.
>
>“I’m soaking wet,” he warned her.
>
>“Do you think I care?” She pressed against him, and
>ran her tongue up his neck. “That’s holy water to me.
> Besides, I’m soaking wet, too.”
>
>“Damn.” Jay clutched her to him, and spoke over her
>shoulder. “Rick! Bring the six-string acoustic. I’m
>keeping it with me.”
>
>“Sure, Jay, I’ll have it….”
>
>“No, I want you to bring it back to the dressing room
>now. I’m going to need you for a moment.” Jay looked
>down at Katie, his eyes glinting in the dim light.
>“And I need you for a moment, too.”
>
>“Only a moment?”
>
>“This time.” The look he gave her made her quiver in
>anticipation.

An overall great written scene that really flowes. Keep on writing!
Good thing I know that you postet what comes afterwards too ;)

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