Date Posted:07:25:51 04/08/10 Thu Author: Fi Subject: Re: Jumping in with my contribution>>> In reply to:
Fi
's message, "Jumping in with my contribution>>>" on 14:59:43 03/30/10 Tue
Thanks to both of you for your critiques. I've changed the first few paragraphs a little:
>
>Thin sunlight streamed through the window,
>illuminating silver threads in the man's dark curls.
>
>“You're Kate Flaherty's son?” Mr. Joyce asked, placing
>his quill tip-down into a jar on the desk. He wore an
>indoor gown of rich brocade, and there were ink dots
>on his white cravat.
>
>“I am,” said Richard, breathing in the oak-and-paper
>dust. “Richard Mahon is my name.
>Son of Kate Flaherty and Joseph Mahon.” His knees felt knocky, his empty stomach
>gurgled, and he wondered again why his Ma had sent him
>to this rich man's place.
>
